Our 63rd Spot:

The Ritz-Carlton

1 Miramontes Point Road Half Moon Bay, CA 94019

www.ritzcarlton.com

I’m letting you know right now, I’m not holding anything back for this review.

Since we visited the San Francisco Ritz-Carlton location in June 2015, I’ve been interested in seeing the Half Moon Bay one. My family + I have had HMB as our second home for over 20 years. We were supposed to get married on Montara State Beach, we have been taking our 19-year-old son (then later our daughter after she was born) to Beach Days there every last Saturday of the month as our family tradition since he was 7-months old, we go to the boats to get fresh crab every season, we have celebrated many an anniversary at La Costanera, we always have to stop by Half Moon Bay Brewing for a pour and their truffle fries, and for sure get a sandwich at Gherkin’s. So when I say “long awaited”, you now understand. Same with the Cutie family who accompanied us today, who have their own special moments with HMB and specifically the Ritz.

I’ve been doing this for a long time, right guys? I have the process down, and know what it takes to arrange and solidify plans to visit a Spot. While retired, I mentioned in my announcement post that there are still places I want to try and may write about. And in my last post, how I couldn’t wait to share what we’re doing this month. (I can’t emphasize any more how much we were all looking forward to this) So probably off + on since June 2015 and then more recently within the last year or so, I became interested in having tea at the HMB Ritz. I learned they no longer offered afternoon tea those years ago, BUT that they brought it back (was it just last year…?) for just a few special occasions on the calendar. I’ve said many times on here before that I prefer to have a general tea service as opposed to a special event/holiday one (1) because I don’t celebrate them and (2) because I want to see what their standard is. But HMB Ritz only offered for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and I think it was Fourth of July (at least for last year and from what I can remember, I’m not looking it up sorry yall)…so those were the only choices I had if I wanted to try Tea there. May was the soonest. So I started some months ago…

First I called in asking if they were going to offer afternoon tea again this year, specifically for Mother’s Day. I was told a hard no. Told the Cuties, and moved on. I was on OpenTable for something else on a day in March and randomly decided to look up The Ritz-Carlton Half Moon Bay, when whaddya know lo and behold there it was: an Experience being offered for MOTHER’S DAY AFTERNOON TEA. Yall know I looove me a receipt. Insert Exhibit A here:

I made the reservation right then and there to secure our spot. And here’s Receipt 2, notice where it says “Mother’s Day Afternoon Tea”:

The next day I realized that since the Cuties are Caretakers, I should probably book an earlier time (so they can get home to their family member) and changed our CURRENT AND EXISTING reservation FOR MOTHER’S DAY TEA to 1:45 PM. Receipt 3:

On April 17, I noticed from my finsta a post from @ritzcarltonhmb and @navio_hmb that they are offering a Mother’s Day “Brunch”. Receipt 4:

Because I was only interested in the Tea (as you read above), I called in to make sure we were in fact scheduled for “Afternoon Tea” and not the brunch. At first, the first person I spoke with couldn’t provide an answer so they took down my info and had someone call me back. You can see those series of calls here, Receipt 5:

Over the course of this span before our reservation, I had spoken with TWO live human beings from The Ritz-Carlton hotel, BOTH of which had CONFIRMED that we had reservations for AFTERNOON TEA not Brunch at The Conservatory on Sunday, May 10, 2026 at 1:45 PM.

We get there, and there’s a problem with my reservation.

Apparently, their Afternoon Tea Service is being served at 3:00 PM. I ask the Host “So the TWO people I spoke with that CONFIRMED my reservation were BOTH wrong?” (and at no point did either one mention nothing about no 3 o’clock) He says yes, with a tinge of an attitude might I add. He gets someone else to talk to me who says the same exact thing but this time adds that they’ll see what they could do about seating us early. Finally, the head honcho (I forget what his title was) comes out to explain once again that there was a mixup, afternoon tea is served at 3:00 PM, the tea sandwiches take 2 hours to make, and they can’t seat us right now. Then asks if he can see my reservation…as if I was lying about OpenTable ugh my goodness. As I’m scrolling through 764 photos of my dog and nephew, I ask him “Is the screenshot gonna change that we could be seated now?” Like, I didn’t understand why all this fuss if at the end of all of it yall still messed up, yall still ain’t ready, and yall still can’t seat us?? I show him my email confirmation and he takes my phone.

By this point, my calm spirit is starting to change. We drove an hour and a half, and all I’ve had to eat was 3/4 a banana. Yall keep talkin bout dem sandwiches that take 2-hours to make and all I could think of was Jan’s osso buco. Three hours from NOW, or three hours from earlier? (Office reference) Cuz it’s bordering 2PM now so that means Chef back there started an hour ago then right? He finally comes back and says they take full responsibility, it was their mistake, and once again reiterates that they can’t seat us until 3PM. But this time he explains that: when they do finally seat us, they will only have enough sandwiches for 3 people. (we are a party of 5) That there will be enough scones and sweets for our party, but not enough tea sandwiches. He goes on further to throw another party under the bus and tells me (who has no business nor desire to know any of this) that someone has yet to confirm their arrival, so possibly we can have their seating and sandwiches. YALL- I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Don’t tell me that!! Don’t tell me you don’t have anything to serve me! You. Are. A. Business. And a Restaurant! Cut up dem sandwiches smaller to make something for 5 people! Improvise and add something else to spruce up your menu! Don’t come out here and tell me YOUR PROBLEMS!! Do what you gotta do to FIX IT. Ooh I was hot…but still collected. He offered for us to sit at the Bar while we wait with a complimentary round of champagne.

After some bubbles and oysters, we are taken to our table. (you guys, I’m already so done writing) We pick our teas and shortly after the scones and sweets are brought out. Still no sandwiches. But our server gives us instructions to start with the tea sandwiches, then the scone, then the desserts…”otherwise you’ll mess us your whole palate,” he says. Um, don’t tell me what to do. Also, we don’t even have the freakin 2-hour sandwiches yet!! (steam coming out nose emoji)

I didn’t care and broke the rules, I started with my scone cuz that’s how I like to have my tea. My palate HONGRY, so we startin wid da scone mmkay.

I will say tho- those scones were SLAMMIN. At least that. I love me a crispy edge.

Oh, here come the 2-hour sandwiches…

He sets it down on the table and says “Here are your tea sandwiches…gluten-free.” You’ve got to be kidding me.

[taking a deep breath] If you’re. Gonna tell me. That your Chef. Is slaving away. For your beautifully and meticulously made afternoon tea sandwiches. For. TWO. FREAKIN. HOURS. [another breath] They had better look like Chef Joseph L. Paire III’s genius creations like the Claremont’s!!! What are these?? And whyyy are they gluten-free?! I never uttered those words since making the reservation in March…why are they here? Who told you we wanted gluten-free? Why did you serve those to us? [breathe Olyve breathe] They looked + tasted like they been sitting out for 2 whole hours. It was cold (like they had been refrigerated) and the bread was stale. Do you remember Monica’s Mockolate? (Friends reference) That bread like fizzed or melted in your mouth, and it was not good. We didn’t even get the 5 tea sandwiches they offered. Where’s our roast beef one huh?! They really did us dirty. Those were atrocious. Sweets were good, but nothing to write home about. Teas were okay too. Then they had the nerve to charge us a “staff fee”. Yall don’t deserve that. I put my card in the bill folder and we went to pick up our car from valet. By the time we got down there, we were told that parking was already taken care of. Cutie Jr. goes “it’s the least they could do” haha.

Would we go back for Tea there? HELL NAW. But we might be up for hanging out with Jason again at the bar! He was lovely! Listen- this fiasco was Ridiculous. And only for a mediocre tea service. BUT, spending time with family- always the best time everrr. I’m still laughing about when Cutie’s Mr. told us to take it easy on all the scones and sweets cuz he doesn’t get any sandwiches hahaha! I will hang with them for bad Tea anytime. We’ve made our own Tradition anyhow. Even tho we don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, this is the 3rd year in a row the 5 of us have had Tea in May. I’ll take it!

To The Ritz-Carlton Half Moon Bay: Do better.