I was supposed to go to Tea this Saturday (well actually, I was supposed to go to Tea 2 weeks ago… But my son had a gig, then we had an event… Yada yada yada). But since I’m not and I haven’t shared a post in a bit, I wanted to do an About The Author post for yall. I had an original topic I wanted to talk about, but then I saw this thing…and that made me change gears for this one. I’ll talk about that one another time!

A thread (from user @richrashann) said: “Social media tricked y’all into thinking that all hobbies need to be monetized. It’s okay to just enjoy things you like to do.”

This struck a chord with me so bad. I’ve talked a little bit about this before (on this post), how I have a knack for turning passions into jobs. But, I don’t think I ever got into really why. A supplemental income. It all started after I had my first child. My bio mom had said she would stay with me and help with the baby for 6 months. Except after 1, she left. I thankfully + hurriedly employed a close friend of ours to be our babysitter. Tho after a little bit, her sister got pregnant and she was needed for them. No childcare once again. It was NEVER in the plans for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I made that real clear to the Huz before we even ever conceived. ”Don’t think I’m gonna be those moms who stay home, cuz I love working too much okay!” But here we were- faced with this situation that needed a solution, and fast! It just didn’t make sense to me to work so hard, just to hand over my check to someone else. So, with an 8-month-old baby, the choice was made for me to be home with him. Reluctant at first, but then soon embraced this wonderful privilege.

We were making it work. My husband at the time was a Maintenance Manager for a property, so our unit came discounted. We’ve always chose a simplified lifestyle, so we never needed a lot of things. But I was hungry. Not for money (I actually hate money, really)…but for being useful. I wanted to contribute. I became the QUEEN of Side Hustles mmkaay!! I started my own business as a Financial Consultant. I have always been really good with money and very organized. I got us out of debt, helped family members move into their own homes, helped friends buy their first cars. WHY NOT get paid for doing that, right!? I was a representative for a multi-level marketing company. I sold baby products (like Tupperware, but with baby stuff). I was a Loan Officer for a real estate firm. I. Did. It. ALL mmkaay! While still raising my beautiful son, teaching him ABCs and keeping on top of laundry. 

It became ingrained, innate. Tho, like I mention in this post, I was very aware of the fact too- that once money is involved, it could turn into something no longer fun. That’s why that thread hit so hard. I love to sew right. Especially after having my daughter, I would make little things for her with onesies that she outgrew. Lots of hair bows + headbands. Someone insisted I get into business with them. I was unenthusiastic about it, but somehow agreed. Sewing was fun for me…when I chose to do it and was inspired. But now I was having to meet quotas and put my personal hobby out there for people to judge. It became a chore. And my daughter was no longer benefiting from it. I stopped it before it ever became a thing.

WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS, you ask? Hehe. Especially when I have previously divulged that I decided to monetize this Blog?! Lol. I also touched on that in the “Website Milestones” post…but again, didn’t get too much into it. (sigh) Here goes. Something I’ve neeeever talked about on here. But felt since it’s unfortunately a big part of my life, that I’m going to use this platform + opportunity to be vulnerable and share my story.

I am legally disabled.

I have a cane and wheelchair when I need extra help, and even a handicap placard.

(exhale) Whew! There, I said it.

Over 5 years ago when I entered trauma recovery, my body and nervous system also reacted. It had taken medical professionals that long to diagnose me as well. After many tests and labs and Specialists and misdiagnoses, they finally know what’s going on. The cane isn’t new, I’ve had to use that before. The diagnosis came in April of last year. And the wheelchair (even tho I’ve needed it for longer, but just never asked) came in June. Boyyy, it has been a struggle. I am a young 42yo. I don’t know how to be in that wheelchair and feel like myself. I get my lashes done to feel “cute”. I always feel like I have to wear my coolest clothes. My girlfriend joked with me, asking if she should make me a sign for the back of it: “You know I’m from Richmond right?” Hahah.

What does this have to do with money? No, I’m not trying to pull at your heartstrings like they do in American Idol intros before the auditions to get you to donate to my website!! (ay-yay-yay) I’m telling my Readers about their Author! I’m sharing with yall that YES, I visit Tea Rooms + Tea Houses all over the Bay Area. And I do this only once a month (well, that’s what’s scheduled…I can’t help if more tea times pop up HAHA) because that’s what my body allows. The rest of the time I’m not at afternoon tea- I am home resting, recuperating, and taking preventative measures until my next outing. After all is said and done about not necessarily wanting to turn Loves into income- monetizing this Blog is what allows me to continue doing it. The modest amount that comes from ads and donations fund my Tea Trips, because I am unable to go out and have a traditional 9 to 5. Even tho I didn’t HAVE to explain this, I wanted to. I think it goes a long way in getting to know who you’re supporting. When you are ‘Like’ing posts, viewing + heart’ing Stories, commenting, reposting, clicking on my links, reading this blog, entering your email to subscribe to it, filling out that donation form, interacting with us on Threads, following us on Pinterest… YOU are allowing me to continue ENJOYING what I love to do, whether money is involved or not.

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It’s that time! For me to talk about myself again! (open hands emoji)

For the newcomers: To give you more content, I’ve been sharing “About The Author” blog posts between Spot Visits! It’s been fun coming up with different subjects to talk/write about…more behind-the-scene stuff, as opposed to being totally cocky hehe.

I thought I would talk about my Reviewing Process for this post.

I was asked once before, if I had a standard of tea services that I base my reviews off of. And I do! I won’t say which one…but when I started out, I would think of how the new Spot compared to this place. If you want me to get a little more specific, here are some mental bullet points I keep in my back pocket when I’m visiting a new tea room:

For Teas –

• Do they offer loose leaf or bags? If I see bags, I already hate it.
• How many teas do they offer? I don’t like too little or I don’t like too much. I think a sweet spot is around 12-15.
• Do they offer a good collection or variety of teas?

For Scones –

• Are they flavored or plain?
• Do they have crispy edges?
• Do they have fluffy insides?
• How does it cut? Does it crumble or break when I cut it open? If it breaks apart while I’m trying to slice, I’m already turned off.
• Do the fixings compliment the scone?

For Tea Sandwiches –

• Do they use a good bread? A good bread can make the whole sandwich.
• How is the ratio of bread to filling?
• Are the cucumbers crunchy?
• Do they use too much smoked salmon?
• Do they use too much butter or cream cheese? Too much cream cheese can hide whatever filling you are trying to present.

For Sweets –

• Is it too sweet or rich?
• Is there a nice variety? Not all chocolate, not all fruity, not all almond base (macaron, marzipan).
• Is it hard to eat? Sometimes they make desserts so complicated to look pretty, but they’re really hard to eat; I don’t like that.

For Overall Tea Service –

• What is the ratio of savory to sweet? Most tea services have more sweets than savories, I understand that. But, if you’re serving like 8 sweet things to 2 tea sandwiches…I don’t like that.
• How many items does it have? I don’t want to try 15 different little things. Give me about 8 or 10 nice sized portion items.
• Is it just pretty or does it taste good too? I can understand the wow-factor that tea services want to present…but make sure it tastes good too!
• Is there one of everything for each person to try? In some cases, they bring 3 DIFFERENT macarons or cookies for our party of 3. I’d rather have one item each, than have to cut an already small item in two so that we can each try our own.

WHAT SETS ME APART?

What makes me different or what gives me the qualifications (I already gave you the writing ones) right!? Aside from currently having 43 different afternoon tea services from 43 different tea rooms + tea houses (meaning I have experience in a variety of offerings) and having a former Catering Service that specialized in tea party foods, I (here’s a fun fact for ya) (confirmed by my doctor) never lost my heightened sense of smell after being pregnant with my daughter! TADA! My abusive bio mom used to make fun of my big Italian nose…and now it’s making me money!! Hahaha… But yes, my heightened sense of smell, I’m sure, has contributed greatly to my process of reviewing and critiquing all this great food. 🙂

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Since I decided to monetize this Blog and make it worth my while (even tho the pure satisfaction of writing is totally enough for me), it’s been fun feeling so official and putting a little more pep in my step with these Spot Visits + blog posts. And if you follow us on Instagram, you’ll know I was recently dubbed “Queen of Tea in the Bay Area” hehe. Thank you, thank you! (bowing)

This passed weekend was a FULL weekend of work. Sharing more of each event on our Instagram account, so follow us there if you’re not already! Friday afternoon, I took the Huz on a date to try the Four Seasons new tea service menu. Every bite was more stunning + satisfying than the next. And I am thoroughly convinced that I am the biggest fan of Vanilla Oil and Truffle Honey. Um, YUUUUM. My standout favorites were their Smoked Salmon Crostini, Matcha Green Tea Cheesecake, and Pumpkin Cheesecake Macaron. Service is always amazing there. We did a 4:45p reservation, and had the whole place to ourselves!! So it was nice + quiet. I think we did that last time…missed the crowd, on purpose. For a new hotel afternoon tea service, the Four Seasons sure does know what they’re doing over there.

The following morning, we got ready and headed into the City. The SF Tea Fest was in town yall! OF COURSE, parTEA with me was gonna be in the house!! It was so great learning about new brands and meeting the owners behind them. The best sips I had were from Sips Global Teas Butterscotch black tea, Justea‘s Cream Earl Grey, Saku Tea Superfood Latte Blends Vanilla Maple Jade and Ruby Cocoa, and Sporgy Mushrooms Mush Love Tea Cafe and Awaken. Check them out! We thought it was funny or interesting that the longest line there was for Harney & Sons. Don’t get me wrong, love the brand. I have their tea tins all over my room holding all my stationary supplies. (meaning I’ve had a ton of Harney in my day) But like- you could get that at Target yall. Jus sayin… The Huz goes, “That just shows you the extent of people’s knowledge in tea.” He’s not wrong.

While my weekend was packed, it felt so good to be in the Tea Community. We are in the thick of the Tour now (sweat bead emoji)! Tho I keep finding new places to visit and it keeps getting extended!! No complaints here, happy to do it. For myself, for all my guests, and for all yall! Grateful for views, grateful for Subscribers (have you entered your email yet??), grateful for Donators. Thank you for allowing me to do something that brings me so much joy and is good for my nervous system haha.

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So how do you make a Tea Tour?!

We’ve had 2 Legs + a Summer Tour, on this California Tea House Tour. I still hear it, just yesterday- “I didn’t know there are that many places to have Afternoon Tea out here?!?!” We started with 12, I added 12 more (Leg 2), and then had a handful of stragglers (Summer Tour) that trickled into the end…before our long break in 2018.

So I find all these places to visit, then what? What’s my process… What’s the procedure… Well, keep reading! (wink)

1) About 2 months before I intend to visit the Tea Spot, I send a save-the-date to my guests.

When I first started the Tour, it was a mass text to all the girls I knew that expressed interest in being invited. Then it would be whoever wanted to come. If there were limited seats for whatever reason, it would be a ‘first come, first serve’ type of situation. We’ve had from parties of 3 to parties of 12! It was cool cuz, some girls didn’t know each other… So it was neat to see them meet, and some even became lifetime friends.

This time around (especially coming out of Pandemic), I have curated my guest list. I have handpicked each group of no more than 5-6 people. And it’s been so nice this way! I enjoy the smaller groups and have been able to get to know new friends on a more intimate level.

2) 6 weeks before my intended visit date, I send a formal invitation (just by text mmkay, we not that fancy!).

This is the time I notify them of tea service prices and collect deposits if the particular spot requires one. When everyone is confirmed, I will make the reservation.

3) TEA PARTY DAY!

At Tea (a ‘Working Tea’), I’m collecting quite a bit of information! I’m taking photos of the outside (if I could), only a few of the interior (I like leaving some of that out so yall can experience for yourself), and a variety of shots + videos (now for reels, rolling my eyes) of the actual tea service. I’m writing down notes of everything I’m tasting, sometimes even getting quotes from my guests. And a new thing I’ve added this Leg: I’m posting real time thoughts on our Threads account, so our Threads community can have a little taste of what’s to come on the blog post!

4) I marinate.

I’ll take a few days to process all my thoughts + feelings about the Tea Spot we’ve just visited. If it was a good time, I’m excited to start digging in! If it was mediocre, I’m indifferent about it. If it was bad, I’m usually dragging my feet to have to write about it!

5) Upload photos.

Depending on how much is offered at the tea service, I have a good hundred photos on my DSLR to upload.

6) Approve photos.

Of that 100, I have to narrow it down to one photo per item. A blog post I share has on average 10-15 shots included from my visit. So it’s a lot to go through and decide! (sweaty emoji) I do not edit my photos, because I want to share as authentic an experience as possible. I may brighten a shot just a bit, but only because lighting may not have been good in the tea place or I may have been seated in the corner or something like that.

7) Write post.

With my notes, their menu, and my photos in front of me, I take myself back to that day and in that venue. I write how I talk, and include details that are important to that moment. Everyone already knows about my (quote/unquote) brutal honesty, that I never thought was a “niche” but simply a part of who I am. I’ve been told I have a polarizing personality. I am of the rare breed that says what they mean and means what they say. So OF COURSE you will find that in my writing. I am never intending to hurt any one person or company…just stating the facts, the truth, and my experience. And if it helps my Readers save money in the process, then that’s a plus in my book!

8) Publish!

I add some tags, set the date*, and click publish! Then, I will generally let my Threads community know first…before posting on Instagram that it has been released. Also, Followers/Subscribers of the Blog will get notice in their email. So if you haven’t entered your email yet so you could be the first to know, scroll toward the bottom of this post and do it today! (*Dates are input on day of visit, even tho post has taken me a couple days to write.)

I had a little apprehension about writing or sharing this post. If you remember a few About The Author posts back, I talked about being copied all my life. Now I cooould say right here: You’ll always be a step behind… I’ll always be first… You can’t do me… BUT, thas not me. Who am I? What am I about? I will say- there is enough room for ALL of us to win 🙂

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What gives you the right?

[photo cred: the Huz]

If you watch The Office, you’ll know exactly where those lines are from! This About The Author blog post is going to be about my qualifications for reviewing Tea Houses + Tea Rooms. One of my pinned posts on Instagram states, “I am not a tea expert or tea connoisseur, I just know what I like and know what I don’t like.” Here’s some history as to how I got there…

WORK HISTORY AND SKILLS

• Detective

The first thing you need to know about me and how I got here is about my detective skills. I love the history of things and how they came to be. I’m a logical thinker and I need equations in order to understand something. If it’s not self-explanatory on how it computes, I’m gonna figure it out. I was this way as a teenager, and my skill set just got stronger when I entered trauma recovery. I love to understand people too, I think that’s my favorite. I can smell a red flag from a mile away. People think I don’t know how they’re being or how they’re behaving. I know, I’m just not commenting on it. I’m a silent observer. I also get this from my INFJ-ness, hehe. I will watch reality tv sometimes, just to study the people. Anyway, this is a longwinded explanation for me to say: I dig deep to find our Tea House + Tea Room locations to visit on the Tour. There are A LOT of places in the Bay Area (and just outside) that offer Afternoon Tea that are not highlighted or “viral” or that popular. But you better believe Detective Rose is gonna find them and give them the love and/or attention they deserve! This is why I am always hearing, ‘I never knew there were that many places!?’

• Former Tea Company Owner

If you are a longtime follower/subscriber of this Blog, you’ll know that parTEA with me used to be a full-fledged tea company. We were a Tea Line, Direct To Consumer (DTC), Wholesaler, Vendor, and Caterer. There are many qualifications to those roles. One does not just wake up from a nap and decide to become a whole tea company! …or do they? (wink)

If you have noticed, I don’t talk much about this company. I might refer to it briefly, but there are things about it I can’t use or talk about legally. So I don’t, out of respect to my integrity and respect to my old business partner. That’s why this blog and all my socials, have “blog” at the end of them. In case any of you were ever wondering…

What I can say, and for the sake of this post and understanding my qualifications- I made/make tea. I created/create tea blends. For our Catering side of the company, those were MY ideas for tea sandwich recipes that were highly requested by our clientele. So one who comments or reviews or critiques Tea House + Tea Room menus, should have a sense of what is good and what is not. Correct? My old tea company is where I got my sense.

• Amateur Photographer

When I was a little girl, my narcissistic bio mom used to dress me to the nines and make me be in photo shoots. Then get massive prints of them and display them everywhere. In school, Art was always my favorite subject. (I could go on a whole tangent about this, but let me try to make the long story short) In the 4th grade, my art piece was selected to be put on display somewhere important. A bit before the pandemic, I accidentally started selling my art. Today, I am a fine art collector. In essence, I have an eye.

Before the Tour started, my husband had gotten into photography. He was learning all about lighting and apertures…shutter speeds, exposures, and focal points oh my! (haha, I’m a nerd I know) So we bought a DSLR. He taught me the very basics, and that’s what I bring with me on the Tour. Now I know I could stand to be more “artsy” in my shots, but most times during Tea- I’m trying to take the quickest photo possible so I could get back to my friends. I take quite a few tho, so I have some to choose from for later. But I also appreciate real life visuals, so that’s what you get on the Blog! I adore the realness of the silverware shoved to the side…or maybe just a corner of the teapot and not in full view. I mean, I won’t be including used napkins or anything like that! But, I love showing real life.

I remember meeting the Calligraphists at our Maison Danel visit. One of them read my card and says, “You’re a Tea House Tourist!? How cool is that!” I replied, “You can make a job out of anything these days huh?!”

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YALL- I was interviewed on a podcast!!

The actual process started at the end of July and I had not told a single soul! Well, of course the Huz and the kids knew. But not Mommie, not my sister, not my brothers! Not even my business accountability partner!

I had been following Talk Tea To Me Podcast since we got back on instagram just earlier this year. (follow them here) I’ve always thought podcasts were so cool and I’ve always been interested in them. But how neat that there was one about tea!! I’m sure there’s others, but their name is awesome so it caught my attention. There are so many podcasts out there. I’ve known people who have had em, some who have talked about starting one, I’ve followed + listened to quite a few. But being on one was always so intriguing to me!

After I agreed to the interview- immediate panic. HAHAHA! I know it was something I’ve always wanted to do, BUT I’m doing this now!! Like forreal forreal. I’m a Writer, not a Talker!! Do you know how long it takes me to articulate something or tell a story just to my family!!?! Now I’m gonna have to think on the spot and speak for myself to other people!? Oh I was worried. Haha. Nothing exciting in my life comes without anxiety too! (melting emoji) The interview was set for August 4th.

Thankfully, they gave me an idea of some questions they were gonna ask. I practiced with my family. My husband asked the question and my kids were the audience. He took down notes for me as I talked, so I could refer back to what I just said. If I replied in a really interesting way, I’d tell him to make sure to make a note of how exactly I said it! Hehe. That week was the worst! I couldn’t shake my anxiousness!! In everything I did, I had in the back of my mind that I would soon be face-to-face (well, video-to-video) with people I had to explain stuff to! “Have you ever had a dream, that, that you, um…” I couldn’t even get excited for the Alicia Keys concert I was going to with my brothers!! I mean, Alicia Keys!? Come on! The nerves subsided while there, but directly after it came right back.

Finally- the morning had come. I did everything I could to be prepared. Put on my infamous uniform: a tank top. Threw my hair in the Hawaiian tita bun that it’s always in, secured with only an XXL Scrunchie of course. Added some hoop earrings, and I was dressed. I got out my trusty post-it notes, jotted bullet points of the answers to their pre-written questions and stuck those right on top of where my iPad was going to be (so I didn’t have to look far for my cheat sheets). They said I should have some tea ready, so I went downstairs to make that. Chose my favorite teacup + saucer (it has other teacups + saucers on it, cute right). Decided on a lilikoi lychee green, and took it to my set up. (Sigh)

[DEEP BREATH] Here we go…

I had the time of my life!! Angela + Lisa were a blast! They made me feel comfy and we had a good vibe going. I said “for sure” about 81 times and just laughed the entire duration!

LISTEN TO OUR EPISODE NOW!!

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How did I become a writer?

What is my history with writing?

What is my resume or repertoire?

Here’s my background check. (haha)

When I was a little girl, there was a lot of talk about Somalia. All I knew at that tender age was children were starving. I became so concerned and disheartened, I was moved to write a poem about these sad kids with no food. I was maybe about 7 or 8, you guys. During this time, my bio mom was working for a dentist who was also quite the philanthropist. He had lots of connections and was really active. He caught wind of my compassion and poetry, and asked if he could show it to a friend of his. Later on, I was surprised with an issue (similar to the National Geographic) that had my poem published in it!! He + his friend thought it was worthy of being shared!

In the 5th grade, I had an essay due. We were given a week to write it. I don’t remember what I preoccupied myself with that week, but I never got to it. I suddenly remembered my assignment the night before we had to turn it in. Now I’m not advocating for procrastinating, boys and girls! But I finally got to starting on it… I wrote with all I had in me. I mean, like- I was finishing writing the last words IN THE CAR, ON THE WAY TO school. (big cheese smile emoji) During SSR (sustained silent reading) when my teacher was correcting all the papers, he called me up to his desk. Here we go. I know I was for sure in trouble. . . . He started commending me on how good my essay was!!?! He then proceeds to walk my paper in one hand and stapler in the other, not to the bulletin board inside the class but to the one OUTSIDE the class so that the whole school can read it!! There my rushed (shh, don’t tell) essay was posted right outside our classroom door, all by itself, for all to see! I was getting compliments from other students + other teachers for the following weeks.

As a preteen, the hip hop duo Kris Kross was introduced to the music scene. And I. Became. Their Biggest Fan. Of all. Time. Yes, I had all the posters on my wall. Wore out their cassette tapes (yes, cassette). Did I wear my clothes BACKWARDS like they did? I’ll leave that one to your imagination! (laughing crying emoji) I was an especially big fan of Chris Kelly’s. I had posters of just him, too. Was he my teenage love affair?! Why yes, yes he was! #awkwardsmile I also happened to be a subscriber of the Big Bopper Magazine!! Remember BOP? Well, this was like their little cousin. In one of their 19(covers mouth)– issues, out of dozens of submissions, they chose MY poem to include!! There was my cute little poem about how much I loved Kris Kross’ music and how fine I thought the “Mac Daddy” (LOL) of the group was, with my name and my city + state underneath it. I kept that magazine for a long time!

Now in high school, my writing had matured. I was writing poetry that was a page long, with metaphors and comparisons. I took a creative writing class and was approached by the instructor, requesting that some of my pieces be included in the school’s spring copy of their Literary Magazine. That felt really good.

In my first year of college, English was a prerequisite to most majors. The assignment was to take your reader on a journey. I chose to write about the one week I lived with my boyfriend at the time. My bio mom and I never had a good relationship. We had got into it and I was just done in. I packed some clothes and toiletries in my backpack before I left for work…my parents not knowing I wouldn’t be back that night, and more nights after. (I may have left them a note, I forgot.) After my shift, my boyfriend picked me up. I thought it was gonna be so fun playing ‘House’ with this guy. Here I had this conception that I was doing this Big Girl thing and having some freedom. What I didn’t realize was: I left my mom’s house + ways, only to move into his house + ways. We had to watch ESPN every night and he was always right behind me, breathing down my neck, asking what “WE” were going to do next! Watch out dood! I wrote about this unexpected journey to gain independence and titled it “Welcome Home”. My instructor loved it and that paper got high remarks!

As a newlywed, I was given the opportunity to apply for my dream job (at the time). I was going to be working with special needs students. I loved that I was going to be in a classroom setting, but even more excited to be immersed with such brilliant and creative thinkers! Taking a high school equivalency exam was part of the application process. As with most standard tests, there was an essay portion at the end. I did the most basic formula: introduction paragraph with 3 details, three body paragraphs with each detail, and ended with a solid conclusion paragraph. Turned in my test and awaited the results. On the day I was going to learn my fate, I saw something really SHOCKING on my paper. How did this happen?? Who does this?! Who gets a 100 on the essay part!!?! I DID. Usually there’s a missing comma or a grammar issue, right? Not here, not I. Not one missing comma, not one grammar mistake. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and I couldn’t believe my skill. That was such a highlight moment for me. I still have that paper til this day!

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to write a book… There were so many equally as unique, awful, and beautiful things that have happened in my young life thus far, that those who have come to know me eventually say the words “You should write a book.” I had attempted many times, but something would happen and I would get discouraged. Or I didn’t know what direction to go… Or my target audience would change… Do I write about the jealous girl who turned off my mic when I was asked to sing the National Anthem for my high school graduation? Do I write about all the rare diagnoses I was given? (I would have titled that one “All the Letters After My Name”, nice ring to it huh!?) I couldn’t decide. I let life happen and forgot about the book. But it was always lingering in the back of my mind. At the end of 2018, I entered trauma recovery. I worked furiously on my healing. [P.S. Check out the book that helped me tremendously, I wish I could buy one for everyone I know!! “Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma” by Janina Fisher] I started journaling again and I went back to my writing. I made the goal of publishing by my 40th birthday. I understood the story I had to tell in my Memoir. My voice was choked for so long, I felt I needed to scream my stories from the mountaintops!! I wrote about the repercussions of my rapes + sexual assaults, the 37-years narcissistic abuse from my biological mother, and what I used to cope and save my life. It was a half Memoir, and the other half was going to be released later. I had a legal and editing team, and we all worked so hard to meet my deadline. As I turned 40, my manuscript was published under a pen name. It sold many copies and I let my closest friends read it. It’s an indescribable feeling to have someone know your darkest hours and have them tell you how much it inspired them or changed their life. I hold those messages and emails so close to my heart. I only left the book on shelves for 3 months. And I never went back to write the second half. Writing that book took so much out of me. I was missing from my family and my life while I was in those words. And I thought I NEEDED to tell those stories. In my healing, I learned how to get my own closure. What I thought mattered, no longer mattered to me anymore. It was thrilling to get the notifications for books sold, but I’m glad my stories are safe with only me now.

So now you know my whole life story! (sweat bead emoji) Just kidding, at least the writing part of it! Okay, the “gist” of the writing part of it!! This doesn’t include the many a resume I was requested to write or eulogy I was asked to write + read. And now you know too, that I am/was somewhat of a Grammar Police! Haha. #nerdalert So even tho I write how I talk on here, you at least know I do know the rules!

These About The Author posts between Tea Spot visits have been interesting to write. It’s a good challenge for me! I do not like to talk about myself, or have any attention on me at all!! But as I mentioned when I started this series (if that’s what you wanna call it), you all are so good to me you do deserve more! (wink wink) As always, thank you for reading, following, subscribing, donating, following on social media…all the things! Yall are the absolute best. Lots of Tea Spots coming up, so stay tuned!!

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Okay, so- now you’re this big time hotshot Writer/Blogger and you have a million people reading your blog…now what?? Hehe, just kidding. But after those milestones started coming in, I did stop and think ‘oh man, I did it again.” (I know, you’re thinking of that Britney Spears song huh?!) (I am too!)

I do this. I accidentally make jobs for myself out of creative ventures or passion pursuits. I never mean to (shrug emoji), it just happens… And I’m not complaining either!

Here are some of my most creative jobs and how I got them:

Event Consultant/Planner/Coordinator

Being born into a big family, someone was always celebrating something. Everyone had a job, everyone had to contribute. I guess that’s where it started and where I found my knack for this kinda thing. I’ve always had OCD tendencies, so being organized was in my blood. I had been doing it naturally for a long time, so it really did just fall into my lap. Pretty soon friends were asking me for help and I was gaining personal accounts myself. I was being entrusted with some serious stuff, so I decided to make it official and start my own company. I had contracts and vendors and contacts oh my! (hehe) It was all done by word of mouth and I had plenty of business to keep me busy + occupied (and paid!!). I got to meet and work with some amazing people (like the Hype Man for the Golden State Warriors, Franco Finn); Became their therapist when they were overwhelmed; And helped many to feel at ease, whether they had to plan a wedding or a funeral. I did this for 18+ years and still have relationships with some loyal vendors.

Contract with Talent and Modeling Agency

This is really a fun story…but, I’m gonna do my best to keep it concise! A dear friend of mine + I, who were always encouraging each other, asked me what my dream job was. I told her I had always wanted to do voiceovers and sing for a cartoon in a movie!! Tho, I was told that it would take years + years of money and schooling, and even after all that I probably would never get hired. She mentioned that her son had dabbled into modeling and would give me the number of who he worked with from an agency. She suggested I at least inquire of what it took to get there. Fine. I sent this lady an email, not knowing that she was the actual owner of this company. She said to send her a photo and my measurements. Measurements? Why did she need to know what size I was, if I was gonna be in a studio backstage?? Fine. I think I sent her my facebook profile picture (LOL) and measured my unproportioned body real quick. Her next response to me was with an appointment for an interview. And at the very bottom was a personal disclaimer notifying me that this was very serious and very important. That they get hundreds of photo submissions every day and only offer interviews to “A FEW A MONTH”!!?! Holy cow. Okay! I replied that I would be there, and went.

At the interview, they asked me a couple questions, took my measurements (again with the measurements!?), and had me do a cold read. I didn’t even know what a cold read was! Then said that I would get an email response in a week or so, if they were going to offer me a contract with their agency. HUH?! This all happened so fast, my overstimulation couldn’t even keep up. We left the office and probably got something to eat. Before we even made it home, I got an email notification from them. My husband urged me to read it right away! As I read, tears started rolling down my cheeks. He started comforting me, telling me that it was okay, that at least I even got an interview… And I says, “No Baby, they offered me a contract.”

It was explained to me that even tho I wanted to do voiceover work, that I had to accept other bookings first to get my name out there. That most VO jobs are given to people, who companies are already familiar with. So I took every meeting, every audition, every booking. Found myself in some pretty once-in-a-lifetime adventures, if I do say so myself!! Worked with a celebrity photographer (who’s filmed Snoop Dogg, Common, and Tyrese) for my headshots. I had the opportunity to work for DreamWorks twice. I accepted a gig where I had to meet in a mansion! Oh yeah, I’m on a TV show in Japan somewhere! Haha. And finally, I booked my first voiceover. A dream come true and thrilling experience for sure. Nothing like it, I’m telling you!

Owner/Creative Director for parTEA with me Tea Company

I can’t say too much about this one for legal reasons, so I’ll keep it short + sweet. But for those long time followers of this Blog- you know that we were once a full-fledged business and tea company. I was the Creative Director and responsible for any + all things creative!! I came up with our logo, packaging, styled + photographed all our website + menu photos, and even curated a Lookbook (with the help of The Urban Doll and Cherry Bazaar Photography) of photoshoots of some of our best selling teas + the stories behind them. A beautiful chapter in my life, and so happy to have lived through it!

Artist

These were all over the house. Little 3×3 canvases of Mexican blankets and serapes. They reminded me of the beach and I found a sense of calm, painting the rustic lines in each piece. It was my therapy when I entered trauma recovery. But I didn’t know what to do with all of them!? And there were PILES. Someone suggested I sell em. “Nooobody is gonna wanna buy these, trust me,” is what I said to that idea. Just try, they said. I tried. And within hours, I was all sold out and even acquired 3 commissions!! What in the wooooorld!!?! How did this even happen?? I was an “ARTIST“??!! The first time I accepted that title was when someone commissioned me to paint them a very specific serape pattern and PAID ME over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for a TINY 3-inch by 3-inch canvas painting!!?! WHAT. IS. MY. LIIIIIIFE!!??

So this. This visiting tea houses, then writing about it, and even getting paid for it… (SIGH) Another one of my beautiful, incredible, accidental dream jobs that I have the privilege and pleasure of doing. A huge HUGE *shout out* goes to all of you who are reading, following/subscribing, donating, and SUPPORTING me and my funny + exciting life of creating. You all mean the world to me! Thank you for helping me continue to keep going. One Love. All Love.

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MY FIRST POST

“Overnight, I woke up to 400 hits on my Blog!?”

That’s what I kept saying as I told the story of my first post feedback. I didn’t think that many people were interested in afternoon tea!? It was such a neat realization to experience. Of course, I told the friend that suggested I start this thing! And, reported to the first group of girls I took out.

I was new to tea then. I barely knew what I was talking about when I wrote my first post!? I explained scones as “sweet biscuits” hahah. It was all of 6 paragraphs and a little over a handful of photos taken from my phone. I talked about how I chose this as the first spot, how easy the reservations were to make, the decor…certainly how the food was, the types of teas we ordered, and about the customer service. Nothing too specific, not much detail of any sort. A refreshing novice point of view! (check out our very first post here)

After I finished writing, I closed my laptop and didn’t think much about it. Went to sleep that night, and again- wasn’t thinking about the blog post. The following morning, a Sunday, I decided to check on the status of it. I had created and written for blogs in the past, so I was familiar with how WordPress worked. I. Was. Flabbergasted!! At first I thought the number I was looking at was 40-something. But then I realized there was another digit next to it!?

WHAT??

That many people care about tea?!

That many people care about WHAT I HAVE TO SAY about tea??!

It was an incredible and overwhelming feeling all at the same time. Yes, I’m sure others have experienced more… But this was a first for me. I take pride in all my wins (I’ve had to learn + train myself on how to do that). Just like: I don’t have 20-million followers on my personal YouTube channel (where I post clips of concerts I’ve been to) (oh we loove going to concerts) or anything… But- I celebrate my 15,000+ views!! Heheh. These 400 people were VIP’s in my book. They motivated me to continue to write for this Blog. So, THANK YOU 400 people!!

GROWING VIEWS

When this notification popped up, that was another internal celebration! Still could not fathom that 10,000 of you deliberately CHOSE to read my words!!?! Or had any interest in what measly me thought about these Tea Spots… An indescribable feeling.

MONETIZE?

For the first 4 years of this Blog, it never occurred to me to get paid for the time spent writing. I enjoyed it. Aaand, that’s it! (emoji with the jazz hands out) From experience, I was keenly aware too that once money was involved or once things turned into a “business”- it could potentially no longer be any fun. So I wasn’t bothered by money. As a matter of fact, I personally hate money! So I never thought to let it be a part of my pleasure.

Fast forward to 5 years later when I found out people were still reading this Blog (after my long absence)… And there were new Afternoon Tea Spots to visit… And things were starting to open up… And I was feeling safer to be out there…

AND,

my health went downhill. And I was no longer able to work outside my home… And we turned into a one-income family… (broken heart emoji here) The question came up again about monetizing. 10,000 (and much more) views. Come on, it was almost stupid if I didn’t right?!

Okay fine. I looked into it.

When I used to watch family vlogs, I always appreciated when they’d explain why we had to sit through spiels about whoever was sponsoring that portion of their video. They didn’t have to, it was a courtesy. But it always made me feel more comfortable about it. All this to say, that’s why I’m including you in this part of my Blogging experience. So you understand, and so you’re more comfy!

I was approved to be monetized. (wasn’t even aware I had to go through an approval process, so that made me feel good)

There are quite a few options to get paid. Ads, donations, tips… I signed up for whatever I qualified for. Still new at it, so still learning. But I tell you when THIS notification popped up!!?! (brain explosion emoji here, 3 of them!)

[I censored the Follower’s name/info] I was beyond ecstatic. In disbelief. AGAIN. Someone appreciated my blog posts enough to VO-LUN-TAR-I-LY SHARE their own money to our cause!!! (crying emojis here!) And on a MONTHLY basis!!?! What a huge heart. What a beautiful sentiment. And, what a tremendous human being.

And then- I got another donation! (and it keeps comin)

I get paid to write. Someone pinch me will ya!!

I’ve mentioned before (on here or on my social media), that I AM a published writer. I had an editor + legal team and everything, and my manuscript was published and sold. I’ve even had reviews written and messages sent to me about how my piece of writing has helped them personally. Coolest. Feeling. EVERRR. Of all the jobs I’ve ever had, ones where I’ve worked for other people and ones where I’ve worked for myself- writing by far has been the most gratifying. That first book took a lot out of me however (and took me away from my family), so I decided not to pursue book 2. Do I miss it? One hundred percent. So, to be able to do this: write in this Blog! And get paid for it?? DREAM COME TRUE.

Thank you to all the Donators. You mean the world to me and I wanted you (and everyone who reads this Blog) to know how beautiful you are and what you do for me (and my family)!! Thank you to all the Readers! Thank you to all the Followers + Subscribers! (if you haven’t yet, enter your email in the form below so you never miss a blog post from us!) Thank you to my Regulars who have come to Tea with me for close to 10 years! Thank you to my new friends who have been joining me on this 3rd Leg of our California Tea House Tour! You ALL are amazing and I wish I could thank each of you personally for allowing me to work this dream job. Love yall.

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