The 3rd Leg of our Tour was already fully booked: 8 new Spots and 6 Revisits. Would take us a little over a year to finish, if we visited one a month like usual. With the addition of iChina and the surprise of Four Seasons, we had/have a lot of Afternoon Tea!

Then.

What’s this?

What do we have here??

Tea…but ON A TRAIN!!?!

You better believe I was going. And you better believe I called my OG’s. And you better believe they were in. And you better believe we booked on that day!! Hehe. So for 3 long months, we waited patiently, until it was our turn to experience the:

Napa Valley Wine Train

1275 McKinstry Street Napa, CA 94559

www.winetrain.com

The little over an hour drive it took us to get out there was not bad at all (especially if you’re spending it with your girls you haven’t hung out with in a while, lots of catching up). When you arrive, there’s this huge waiting room. Lots + lots of seating with cute patterned upholstery, some pub tables, a little bar (the girls had mimosas), a picture taking area, aaand (my favorite) a gift shop! We checked in, then only had to wait a little over half an hour before boarding. We perused the store, took some selfies, attempted a TikTok video for our girl (Mariposa’s hand!), and used the bathroom. Talked about how we felt overdressed cuz we weren’t seeing anyone else in dresses (oh yeah, I wore a DRESS you guys!!), then started seeing some dresses then felt better, then started seeing some SPECTACULAR ensembles then felt underdressed and like we weren’t representing our true-selves in these floral dresses (where are my Tims?!)…HAHAHA! We funny huh. Finally heard our letter being called and excitedly exited toward the train!

There’s a short wait where we stand amongst dozens of decorated locks. Just like they do in Paris, visitors bring love locks and attach them to the fence. An adorable sight! And right before you get to the train, there’s a professional photographer who will take your party’s photo like they do for you on cruises. Okay, now to the track!!

Before I left, my husband asked me what I was most looking forward to on this Day Trip. I took a moment to think before I answered, then replied “the decor!” Just like I answered when the girls from Talk Tea To Me Podcast asked why I fell in love with afternoon tea on the episode where they interviewed me. My love for art and interior design makes me anticipate + appreciate my surroundings when I’m at Tea. And really, I would do a disservice trying to explain with words what a stunning environment we got to be in!

At our setting, we are greeted with a Chandon Garden Spritz. After all, this tea service is in collaboration with Chandon!

[taken by Kika]

The tea comes on a little cart, like they do in airplanes! We had 4 choices: Yunnan Black, Earl Grey, Chamomile, and Rooibos. And they came around with their cart quite a few times during our trip to refresh our cups and try new flavors. I tried all but their cham (didn’t wanna get sleepy). They weren’t bad teas. I think they kept the bags in those thermoses cuz they were heavily steeped. But I wasn’t complaining cuz I like a dark brew anyhow.

I added another shot that I took on my phone. We were having so much fun taking pics of everything! And I love how you can see the vibration ring in my cup!! (like in Jurassic Park!) Oh about that- I was a bit concerned at how bumpy the ride was going to be. It had been over 20 years since I’ve been on a train. Last time was during my honeymoon, when we took a train to Reno, NV! But it was not bad at all!! Almost kind of therapeutic, I think. It was a slow enough pace where you can enjoy the outside scenery. And we all got a kick of how sweet passersby were waving at us! (feeling loved emoji)

After teas, they set us up with Chef’s Seasonally Inspired Soup. Today’s choice was a tomato. Had a nice tang, really fun texture, and I felt like it had a touch of nutmeg or cinnamon in the back there. Of the handful of shots I took, this was the best one that came out! I forgot to use the ‘sport’ setting on my camera, and the shake of the ride took away from some of my captures.

After that, an Heirloom Beet Salad (local goat cheese, frisée, pistachios, citrus vinaigrette) was presented. My mouth just watered, typing all that out. Oh the table loved this one! It was lightly dressed, the beets were PERFECTLY roasted (and I looove heirloom things, don’t you!?), and the goat cheese was gorgeous. P.S. I am a beet freak, so I was like making out with this salad!! I finished every leaf. And I don’t usually do that at tea services…jus sayin.

Here came the tier! Yay! (I’m cracking up cuz we were in kind of tight quarters AND I was in the inside part of the booth, so there wasn’t really much room for me to get up to get the right angle for the tower shot. I don’t like putting my friends’ faces in my posts, so my sweet girls turned their backs aaand this one was actually the best of it I got! Haha. They’re so cute huh?!)

I didn’t have time to think about a strategy on how to eat my savories (I usually go cucumber first) cuz I was just so in the moment (and a bit distracted), so I went from the top down. And it went well!

Lobster Vol-au-Vent – …aaand thenn I had thissss. I wish I would’ve saved it for last. That thing stayed in my hand the whole time. No putting it down on my plate to get a sip of tea… I had all 3 bites, consecutively. Ohmygosh it was so good!! Lemony, crispy fluffy pastry, good ratio of filling to bread, had a nice welcome peppery aftertaste. I can remember the spongey stringy lobster goodness as I write this!

Radish & Creme Fraiche – Bouncy pastry, light airy cream, nice radish crunch, pleasant tang, salty. That was a lot of cream. And even tho it sorta melted in your mouth, that was a lot of cream! I felt like we all at some point had cream mustaches, cuz (you guessed it) that was a lot of cream. I have to say tho, the salty taste afterwards- even tho you were like ‘what is this, why’, it made you go back for more to try + understand it again! Well played Wine Train, well played.

Cucumber & Dill – Oh there you are cucumber! I don’t know, the cream in this was frothy…!? Remember Monica and Mockolate? “Just waiting for it to stop bubbling!” That’s what that cream or cheese made me think of. I didn’t care for it. The cucumber was a little soggy, and the bread was like mushy. I still finished it, but like, begrudgingly.

Roast Beef, Horseradish, White Cheddar – I didn’t like this one that much either!? It had nice thick pieces of beef. But not a huge fan of the cheese.

Smoke Salmon & Fine Herb Cream Cheese – Nice amount of cheese to salmon. Didn’t like the caviar. I felt like there was something in their cheese other than dill…but I couldn’t make it out. Like a celery seed or fennel or something, I don’t know. I asked my girl (Rizitos who is a great cook) if she could figure it out, and she said she just tasted the dill…

I was so ready for dessert! (clapping hands) Five yummy sweet things, a nice variety + selection. There was also a fruit + cheese tier, but I didn’t get a picture of it.

Lemon Tart (there weren’t official names to the treats, so these are my generic labels for them) – Again, I didn’t know it then but I figured it out after, I ate the best thing first! MMM! WOW. Crunchiest pastry, resemblant of cheesecake crust. Light lemon, not overpowering, so smooth + delicate. And it had a fun aftertaste. I took bites of everything else after I tried this one…then went back to it, and demolished it. (and I never usually finish my sweets)

Pumpkin Scone – This was so light! It was soft inside, but the glaze was crunchy. As a pumpkin-lover, this was nice to see on the menu.

Almond Cake – Bland for me. Light cake. Only had a bite.

Chocolate Chip Cookie – This wasn’t just any chocolate chip cookie. This was like thee perfect chocolate chip cookie. Big chunks of chocolate, nice dense bite, chewiest chew, flakey salt. (drooling)

We had a spectacular time. The service was AMAZING. We fortunately were sat right by the service station, so it was convenient if we needed anything. Our Server was so kind and so efficient. She even made me a makeshift cover for the rest of my tomato soup I wanted to take home. The ride was lovely. Comfortable. Clean. Even the bathroom was really cute! Oh and the music was poppin! All those songs that are your jam, that you haven’t heard in forever…yeah, they played them. Happy I went. Happy my OG Girls were with me. The price was the most I’ve paid for Afternoon Tea (well you’re not just getting the tea, but a whole experience too), and it was well worth it. I would definitely do this again. I would take the Huz, I would take the kids. I would pay just to have those lobster things + lemons tarts only!! We made sure to pick up our cruise photo, so we had a souvenir for this beautiful day. I think they’re still offering this Afternoon Tea for the month of October…but I would def keep checking back in to see when they’re gonna do this again cuz you have to go!

Here are a few really cool shots from our friend Kika, who was hot on the phone pics! (a-ok emoji) I just love the one she did of the tower with our friend Mariposa in the background!

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A DEDICATION

So like I mentioned, this trip was booked 3 months in advance. What I didn’t know when I booked it, was that my Mom was going to lose her 8+ year battle with cancer just 4 days before our scheduled departure. I was so broken, numb, confused, lost. But I felt like I had to keep it together until our Day Trip. Those 4 days following her death, I behaved as normal as possible. I went about my days of homeschooling and laundry. Even when I went to go spend time with my brothers, I didn’t cry. I stayed away from my phone. Didn’t reply to messages, didn’t get on social media. I had to work! Then after work, I could crumble. That was my mentality. Strange I know, but like they say: people deal with grief in different ways.

I met with my girls that day. Spent the ride over, the train ride, and the ride back just enjoying their company and my tea time. I didn’t say a word about Mom. No one knew that as soon as I took that last photo + typed out my last note and declared “Okay I’m finished with work!” that my shoulders suddenly felt so heavy. That the whole drive home I was continuing to swallow that hard lump in your throat that serves as a signal from your body that you need to cry. And the Academy Award goes to… I hate liars. But I had to put my best face on, otherwise I would lose it and never come out of it. And I didn’t want the day to be about that. So I kept my cool.

The following day some good friends of ours took the kids, and my husband took me out. I requested Barnes & Noble. I could peruse those aisles + shelves all day long. I love reading Memoirs (I just started “Spare”), so I browsed for more to add to my TBR pile. I used to collect magazines, so I love looking at those too. After that, we got some comfort food at the Hofbrau. Turkey dinner, of course. I love their sticky stuffing, with lots + LOTS of their brown gravy. Cranberry, a must. For something sweet, he took me to Happy Donuts. A 24-hour donut shop we’ve never tried before. We were moaning, it was so good. Then he said he knew exactly where to take me. My 2nd favorite store: HomeGoods!! (my 1st is World Market) We had fun shopping for miscellaneous items, like a pasta container and new salt + pepper pots cuz one of the lids broke on ours. It was nice to forget for a little bit…

To forget the aching pain that the closest person to me was now gone. We talked every day. She was the only mother I knew.

When I was born, I was abused by my biological mother. Unfortunately, I even have home videos to prove it. I became a rape victim by the time I was 5. This continued for 8 more years. When I got up the courage to tell my bio mom, she didn’t listen. I was sexually assaulted 2 more times by 2 other different people, one when I was 19 and one in the spring of 2019. So this is my trauma, this is the baggage I carry. I didn’t find out that I was being abused by a narcissistic mother until I was 37-years-old. I subsequently entered trauma recovery in September 2018. That was also the last time I had contact with her.

Sometime in 2007 – I met Veronica. She moved from Oakland to our area, with her husband and two boys (my brothers). I was always fond of her, she just intrigued me. We both worked for school districts, and she would often ask me for advice on some things.

November 2011 – My first hosted Tea Party, she was invited.

April 2015 – She was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma.

October 2017 – She wrote me a card. I decided to write her back, since I wasn’t seeing her much anymore (because she was having chemo treatments). We became pen pals. We would write back + forth, snail mail. Sometimes her boys or the Huz would be our messengers. We continued writing each other and I filled a 2-inch 3-ring binder full of letters from her. We eventually went to email, during Pandemic I think.

August 2018 – She joined the Tea House Tour and attended Sip Tea Room with us.

Sometime later – She adopted me and became Mommie. To my kids, she became GrandMommie.

She was there for everything. I could ask her for advice. She mothered me when I needed mothering. She had so much wisdom and carried herself with such integrity to God. She was my biggest supporter. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing, she would be the first in line, the front row seat. When I made + sold art- she didn’t just buy one, she bought many. When I published my book- even tho she already had a pre-released copy, she still bought an official hard copy. When I made + sold tea- she didn’t just buy a box, she’d spend $200 at a time. And then make little packages and send them out to friends + relatives.

She loved my kids. The best Grandmother any child could ever ask for. The only one they’d really ever known. When she did Grandmother things for them, they were confused. I had to explain that that’s what a grandmother did or that that’s how a grandmother loved. Like when she would give them money every time they saw her. They didn’t get that that’s the kinda thing grandparents just do. They never had positive experiences with their biological grandmothers…

She called my husband for every need around the house. He was always there. Happily helping out with odd jobs, building furniture, doing handyman things. He has a small handyman company, and she was his biggest client! Soon, our son would join and they were building stuff for her together. She claimed the nickname Chatty Cathy, and would call me when my husband left her house to apologize that she’d kept him there for some time. He loved listening to her stories. It never bothered either of us, the time he spent there with her. He appreciated her Momma-lovin too!

I feel like I had to describe my childhood real quick first, so you could understand the depth of what this woman did for me. For our kids. For our family. She filled a void I never even knew I was looking for. I was so happy just having someone to ask me about my day, to listen about hers. The simplest + silliest thing- when I was over and she was opening something, I was THEE HAPPIEST girl taking the trash from her and throwing it out for her. Like, I felt so good to have a mom to do that for. Trash, yall. TRASH!! I would talk about her at every opportunity. People who know me, know this well.

One of her absolute favorite things to do was buy us things. Now, I was always shy and at first didn’t accept. But I soon realized what a joy this was for her, then started allowing it. She loved to buy my daughter + I dresses. So every time I would wear one she got, I always ALWAYS had to share that it was from her. “Oh thank you, Mommie got it for me!” She’s bought us cute flats + blazers/cardigans to wear for the complete outfit too. One time, she bought her + I matching dresses. We were so happy to wear them together. She’s bought all 4 of us winter coats. For our anniversary, she bought my husband + I each our own preferred-style comforters. She has even bought me underwear, she’s so cute.

Another thing she absolutely loved to do was keep photos. She had like over a thousand stored in her phone! I included her in every aspect of my life. So when a photo was taken, you better believe I sent it to her. Then she would send random ones back to me, at random times. Like- photos of my kids, then tell me what a good mother I was. Photos of my grandmother, to remind me that we had a solid relationship. She also sent me baby photos of her boys and other loved ones. When you went to her house, photos I sent her were printed out and framed!! (oh she was just the cutest for this!)

What I appreciated most about her was how loyal she was and how down for me she was. I had to fight on my own all my life. It felt good to have someone on my side, protecting me. I have never known how not to grieve alone. I never even knew I was like this until she passed. I had a theme with all the people I have lost. I guess since I was never allowed to feel when I was younger, I felt like big feelings had to be done alone. I am learning how to lean on others in her absence. My husband + kids are taking good care of me. These new friends that I have made in the past year have prayed for me, called, sent messages, sent flowers, sent cards, offered support, took the kids. And these are not just what I call “Hallmark responses” like just Aww or I’m sorry for your loss… But actual genuine sentiments!! I am in awe and am overwhelmed by the love + support shown to me and my family. THANK YOU.

In the meantime, I will continue to work on grieving. I haven’t let it out yet. And I don’t know when it will come. My body is certainly feeling it. But my heart hasn’t caught up yet.

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