MY FIRST POST

“Overnight, I woke up to 400 hits on my Blog!?”

That’s what I kept saying as I told the story of my first post feedback. I didn’t think that many people were interested in afternoon tea!? It was such a neat realization to experience. Of course, I told the friend that suggested I start this thing! And, reported to the first group of girls I took out.

I was new to tea then. I barely knew what I was talking about when I wrote my first post!? I explained scones as “sweet biscuits” hahah. It was all of 6 paragraphs and a little over a handful of photos taken from my phone. I talked about how I chose this as the first spot, how easy the reservations were to make, the decor…certainly how the food was, the types of teas we ordered, and about the customer service. Nothing too specific, not much detail of any sort. A refreshing novice point of view! (check out our very first post here)

After I finished writing, I closed my laptop and didn’t think much about it. Went to sleep that night, and again- wasn’t thinking about the blog post. The following morning, a Sunday, I decided to check on the status of it. I had created and written for blogs in the past, so I was familiar with how WordPress worked. I. Was. Flabbergasted!! At first I thought the number I was looking at was 40-something. But then I realized there was another digit next to it!?

WHAT??

That many people care about tea?!

That many people care about WHAT I HAVE TO SAY about tea??!

It was an incredible and overwhelming feeling all at the same time. Yes, I’m sure others have experienced more… But this was a first for me. I take pride in all my wins (I’ve had to learn + train myself on how to do that). Just like: I don’t have 20-million followers on my personal YouTube channel (where I post clips of concerts I’ve been to) (oh we loove going to concerts) or anything… But- I celebrate my 15,000+ views!! Heheh. These 400 people were VIP’s in my book. They motivated me to continue to write for this Blog. So, THANK YOU 400 people!!

GROWING VIEWS

When this notification popped up, that was another internal celebration! Still could not fathom that 10,000 of you deliberately CHOSE to read my words!!?! Or had any interest in what measly me thought about these Tea Spots… An indescribable feeling.

MONETIZE?

For the first 4 years of this Blog, it never occurred to me to get paid for the time spent writing. I enjoyed it. Aaand, that’s it! (emoji with the jazz hands out) From experience, I was keenly aware too that once money was involved or once things turned into a “business”- it could potentially no longer be any fun. So I wasn’t bothered by money. As a matter of fact, I personally hate money! So I never thought to let it be a part of my pleasure.

Fast forward to 5 years later when I found out people were still reading this Blog (after my long absence)… And there were new Afternoon Tea Spots to visit… And things were starting to open up… And I was feeling safer to be out there…

AND,

my health went downhill. And I was no longer able to work outside my home… And we turned into a one-income family… (broken heart emoji here) The question came up again about monetizing. 10,000 (and much more) views. Come on, it was almost stupid if I didn’t right?!

Okay fine. I looked into it.

When I used to watch family vlogs, I always appreciated when they’d explain why we had to sit through spiels about whoever was sponsoring that portion of their video. They didn’t have to, it was a courtesy. But it always made me feel more comfortable about it. All this to say, that’s why I’m including you in this part of my Blogging experience. So you understand, and so you’re more comfy!

I was approved to be monetized. (wasn’t even aware I had to go through an approval process, so that made me feel good)

There are quite a few options to get paid. Ads, donations, tips… I signed up for whatever I qualified for. Still new at it, so still learning. But I tell you when THIS notification popped up!!?! (brain explosion emoji here, 3 of them!)

[I censored the Follower’s name/info] I was beyond ecstatic. In disbelief. AGAIN. Someone appreciated my blog posts enough to VO-LUN-TAR-I-LY SHARE their own money to our cause!!! (crying emojis here!) And on a MONTHLY basis!!?! What a huge heart. What a beautiful sentiment. And, what a tremendous human being.

And then- I got another donation! (and it keeps comin)

I get paid to write. Someone pinch me will ya!!

I’ve mentioned before (on here or on my social media), that I AM a published writer. I had an editor + legal team and everything, and my manuscript was published and sold. I’ve even had reviews written and messages sent to me about how my piece of writing has helped them personally. Coolest. Feeling. EVERRR. Of all the jobs I’ve ever had, ones where I’ve worked for other people and ones where I’ve worked for myself- writing by far has been the most gratifying. That first book took a lot out of me however (and took me away from my family), so I decided not to pursue book 2. Do I miss it? One hundred percent. So, to be able to do this: write in this Blog! And get paid for it?? DREAM COME TRUE.

Thank you to all the Donators. You mean the world to me and I wanted you (and everyone who reads this Blog) to know how beautiful you are and what you do for me (and my family)!! Thank you to all the Readers! Thank you to all the Followers + Subscribers! (if you haven’t yet, enter your email in the form below so you never miss a blog post from us!) Thank you to my Regulars who have come to Tea with me for close to 10 years! Thank you to my new friends who have been joining me on this 3rd Leg of our California Tea House Tour! You ALL are amazing and I wish I could thank each of you personally for allowing me to work this dream job. Love yall.

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I was trying to look for a specific Pin from my Board for this post… Apparently I had quite a few on this topic (haha), and there’s still more! But I’ll keep it at just these. For now, haha.

I knew this blog topic was next on the list, so I was kinda procrastinating in getting to it. I knew it was gonna be a real, raw, emotional, and probably even heated subject for me. However, I committed to writing more about myself so you could get to know the author behind this Blog. So that’s what I’m gonna do. Also, this is a really important story to tell and question to answer.

“Why is ‘ORIGINAL CREATOR’ in all caps on all your posts?”

Have you ever heard of the term being “Single White Female’d”? I don’t like the term, I didn’t make it up, and I don’t think I ever even watched the movie. But if you Google it, it will say this (and I am quoting from Google here): “an obsessive, malevolent, and manipulative female friend.” More simply explained, it is also used as a verb or description of someone who obsesses over you and copies you. Now, I’m sure you’ve seen the initial above quotes. How someone copying you is supposed to make you feel honored. In my imperfect opinion, I think it shows a lack of integrity and originality. At the very least, give credit where it’s due.

Now, I’m a very giving girl. You say you like something I’m wearing or have, I don’t gatekeep (I think that is how the cool kids say it). I have no problems with telling you where I got it, how much it was, even what the sales associate’s name is to go see! Why can’t we ALL look cute right!? It’s when you’re eyeing something of mine, try to pull it off as something you thought up, and fool everyone into thinking you did something cool when really you know you’re a fraud. (whew, see, told you) (let me take some deep breaths)

Now I COULD give you a few Story Time’s right here and even share all the receipts. But, I’m not messy. And, I am classy. And I’m sure these copy-cats are reading this very Blog post right now. (Don’t want to give them the pleasure of a cameo) But I will say I have been copied all my life. Dare I even share, labelled as a “Trendsetter” back in my day!? Yes yes, I was the first to wear shorts and thigh-high tights in middle school!! Haha. From haircuts to shoes, to jobs and apartments, boyfriends! Party themes. Whole business models. And my personal favorite: when a renowned muralist copied my novice art piece. (once upon a time I used to paint and sell art) Here’s another quote for you: “You can copy all you want, you will always be one step behind.”

The long and the short of it: copying is a trigger for me. I was abused by a mother with NPD who took all my gifts + talents, and claimed them as her own. NOTHING belonged to me. Not my looks, not my voice, not my self. So yes, I am beyond overprotective when it comes to my creativity.

(I’m getting to the answer of that question, I promise)

In 2014, after I hosted our first Tour Spot and after my friend suggested I start this Blog, I clearly remember sitting in our living room brainstorming ideas of what to call it with my husband. At this point in my life, I had already had experience with owning my own business and starting several blogs before. I know the process. I know how to name things. Be catchy. Be memorable. And most importantly: BE ORIGINAL. We’d come up with a thought for a name, and I’d Google it right away. If there was even something else out there that sounded remotely close to it = veto.

“parTEA with me.”

“I love it!”

[Googles it]

Nothing online.

[Searches for social media handles]

Nothing on social media.

[Searches for hashtags]

No hashtags.

“I’m good to go! Let’s do it!”

Starts wordpress blog.

I AM THE EARLIEST OCCURANCE OF THE “parTEA with me” PHRASE. Look for receipts, I check out. I don’t need to share them, I don’t need a trademark to tell me that, and I don’t even need to send Cease and Desist letters out. I know and THEY KNOW. And if you ever read “Unbound” by Tarana Burke, you will understand the gravity of what being the originator of something is. It may not be important to you, but it’s important to us. And it’s important for us to be recognized as such. Once that pen is lifted from the paper, once that finger is lifted from the keyboard- IT IS COPYRIGHTED AND BELONGS TO US. *Shout Out* to my old business partner who is in Intellectual Property. 😉

So in conclusion (clearing throat), “Original Creator” is all caps in all my posts because it is important to me to claim something I own.

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If you’re a long time follower or have read my “Full Circle” post, you already know the story of how I came to be interested in Tea Parties. (If you haven’t yet, click here to catch up!) This post isn’t about that. This post is all about my Firsts from that day!

Guest List – I didn’t want too many people where I couldn’t have conversations with each of them. I also wanted to make sure I wasn’t just choosing people that I liked or was already comfy with, but new ones that I wanted to get to know. I went with 8. Four of my current girlfriends, and four I wanted to get closer to.

Invitations – One of my friends was a big scrapbooker. She would host scrapbooking nights and invite me. I came to a few, so I had all these supplies. Being a longtime event planner prior to this, I knew that the invites set the tone for the gathering. I thought too that this would be a good time to use up all the stuff I had + practice my DIYing skills…so I handmade each of them! (Another event planning tip: make more than you need!)

Outfit – Since I was only 6-months postpartum here, I wanted to make sure I’d be comfortable. Squeezing into anything with breastfeeding boobs and a swollen/bloated tummy was not the business! I didn’t know how people dressed for tea parties. I’m not a fancy dress type of girl, but I also knew enough not to wear my ever-loving sweats!! (hold on- and if you’re thinking right now “What? She was an event planner and didn’t know how people dressed for tea parties!?” … I was new at this still mmkay.) I decided on my cotton dress I wore to my baby shower: newspaper gray with a little floral action on the skirt part.

Ambiance – What’s that phrase? ‘A little kid in a candy store’? Yeah, that was me. I felt like a tourist in San Francisco, with the camera strap hanging around my neck, taking pictures of all the cute little bits and pieces all over this tea room! Aside from my old friend’s facebook posts, I didn’t really know what to expect in here!? I was overwhelmed. But in the absolute best possible way.

(snort) I’m still laughing at the flowers and sugar. Have yall ever seen sugar before?? Apparently, I thought that was a necessary photo to take. (laughing crying emoji)

Tea – I didn’t take notes or have a journal entry from this or anything, but if I remember correctly we probably had their House Blend and Ginger Peach. Their house is a black tea with strawberry + kiwi, and I will always associate Tyme for Tea with a ginger peach tea. It’s a core memory for me for sure.

Food – Just as I had told the story in my Tyme for Tea post, I had never had scones warm before this visit. This was my first experience having it the “right way” and with all the fixings. Even now, when I go to each tea spot, I will ALWAYS try my scone first!! Cuz they come out warm! Also a first: being served food on 3 tiers! As a nerd/rule-follower, I just loved how there was one each of everything for everyone. I took each bite of sandwich, savory, and sweet with such awe to the detail + love that was put into making em.

Please excuse the blurry, grainy, rough photos. It was 2011 and I was working with an old digital camera! Oh!! And this was also my first introduction (and subsequent addiction) to LOTUS BISCOFF BISCUITS!!!

I hope you enjoyed reminiscing on my first hosted tea party with me!! It was fun going down that Memory Lane. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about the author behind this Blog. This helps me practice vulnerability, gives me something to write about between Spots, and lets you know a little more about the human being typing all these words! Our next Tea Spot is coming soon!! See you then!

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You know those movies or tv shows where the parents are playing Tea Party with the kids…? Yeah, I didn’t have parents like that. I did have an older cousin tho, who, whenever we would see each other, would play Food-dyed Uncooked Macaroni and 7UP in a Dixie Cup with me! HAHA. We would use a makeup tray to put everything together, and make believe eating this stuff. It was our tradition. I’m so grateful that her 16-year-old self even wanted to play with my 8-year-old self! I felt so cool and seen.

My bio mom wasn’t the playing type. She was the ‘make sure you are never sitting down’ and ‘always be cleaning’ type. She went to tea parties tho. Lots. She never did take me or my younger sister. She went with my 2 aunts, and she would always come home with a (or a few) teacup and saucer set(s). She was a collector. She never talked to us about it or included us in any of it. That’s why when I became The Tea Lady, I never thought to attribute it to anything she had to do with.

Did I drink a lot of tea? Sure, some. Not “a lot”. And never at home. Always with others. I’d be over a cousin’s house, and their parents would let me have some. Funnily enough, (this just came up the other day) my late paternal grandmother (my best friend + Homegirl) would give me black coffee in a teacup whenever I had breakfast with her! She wasn’t a fuzzy, sit-down-in-my-lap kinda gramma. She would have the same exact breakfast every day. And I thought she was so cool, I always wanted to be around her so I would sit with her at the table. She’d get out a teacup and pour some black coffee in it for me to have. Hahah… Later on in life, we became really close. I’d be the only grandchild to visit her. And when I had kids, be the only grandchild that brought her great-grandkids to visit. Boy, did she love my daughter. I swear, I had her for HER! I would be nursing, and Gramma would be practically laying on my shoulder lifting up my swaddle blankie to watch her nurse!! When my daughter got old enough, we would bring her by and Gramma would be in charge of feeding her. The not-fuzzy gramma became the most involved, meltiest gramma ever in life! And she had this darling 3-piece Victorian style antique couch set, that they’d be seated at. Cutest ever, I’m telling you.

So no, I wasn’t “surrounded” by all things tea and inherited the crown of Afternoon Tea Partying. I won’t go into it here, but my childhood was rather rough (to put it mildly). So, if there is anything or anyone to give credit to for my becoming The Tea Lady I am today (btw, I didn’t give myself that name…that’s just what I’m known as ’round these parts!)- I would thank my Gramma and her special teacup for me.

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I am humbled.

Thank you to our loyal readers + followers, long time subscribers, and all you new Tea Lovers! There’s been heavy traffic since being back for a week now. Oh yeah, we’re back on Instagram too! @parTEAwithmeBlog Follow us! (making a mental note to link to this blog…) I’m grateful to those who leave comments too cuz I wanna know your thoughts + experiences as well! Keep em coming. Keep it all coming! I am loving this, it’s giving me life.

Since July 2014, when my friend suggested I start a blog and write about our trips to each Tea Spot, I have only posted once a month or once every couple months about each Tea Room or Tea House visit. (Then only a couple posts in the last few years…shh!) I think you guys deserve more. Don’t you? 😉 I am hoping to write a bit more frequently (cuz I love it so much) about my background/history/experience with tea. So you know who I am as well, and whose words you are reading! Does that sound good to you?! Feel free to leave comments with questions or any subjects you’re curious about too! I’ll do my best to answer as fully as I can.

Okay, My First Tea…

I was in Richmond, California. We had just slept over a cousin’s house, and his dad was making us all breakfast. I must’ve been just 4 or 5 years old, is my best guess. There was at least 6 of us, and he had to feed each of our hungry little mouths. I remember watching him move around in the kitchen. My mom never allowed me to be in the kitchen with her, ever. So I was intrigued as to how he was gonna make this breakfast happen for all us rambunctious children! Meanwhile, the rest of them were jumping on couches and “watching tv”.

He called out to us, “Hey guys! Time to eat. Wash up.” We took turns washing our hands in their hallway bathroom. The same bathroom we would wash up in after playing outside. The same bathroom we washed up in after they took us to McNears. They were a fun aunt + uncle.

Afterward, we all found seats at either the dining table or the counter bar. I got a seat at the counter. I remember him setting down a little plate. On it was a toasted dinner roll. Inside: a little dollop of mayo and a folded piece of ham. (the good kind of cold cuts) On the side of that, a plain white teacup atop a plain white saucer. Inside that? Strawberry tea!

Now I never had tea before this. My mom drank tea, but she never gave us any. So this was my first! A brand new experience for me.

It was steaming hot. Smoke slowly rose from the top of my cup. (blow) I put my lips together and blew my tea, so I wouldn’t get burned. I felt like such a grown up! When I thought it was cool enough, ever so slowly- I carefully took my first sip…

MMM!! That was so good! It was like hot juice! But not that sweet. And it felt so good in my tummy. It warmed my whole body up! I was so happy. So content.

I sat there and finished my little toasted ham sandwich with my strawberry tea as the good little girl I was. I remember even being so bold as to ask for more tea. 🙂

I don’t have very many fond memories of my childhood. (it was about to get dark right here, but I saved it! I saved it!) But this is definitely one good one. So much so that for breakfast sometimes, we serve this exact meal to our kids (and my inner child) to celebrate that memory. I hope you try it and serve it to your family too! Let me know how they like it?!

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November 19, 2011 – Being bedridden for 8 months and hospitalized 20 times, pregnant with my 2nd living child/3rd pregnancy overall (you do the math…I miss you everyday Serenade Rei) and suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, the only positive thing in my life (other than growing a human being inside me) (and well, the support of my husband, toddler son + family) was scrolling through friends’ + family’s facebook pictures.  Sad?  I know.  But it gets better, trust me!  One album in particular was of an old middle school classmate’s baby shower.  She had had it at some place that serves tea and other tea refreshments (as I knew it then).  I fell in love with the idea + décor, and just couldn’t wait to see what it was all about!  (I later found out it was at the original Crown & Crumpet in Ghirardelli Square, San Francisco.)  When my May-baby daughter finally took a bottle at 6mos (Thanks girl.), I searched for the closest tea house to me…called a few of my girlfriends + friends I wanted to get to know better…and suffered the worst case of Cuteness Overload as I stepped foot into my very first tea house, which happened to be Tyme for Tea & Co. in the Niles District of Fremont, CA.

I hosted approximately 4 tea parties there, before I became curious about what else was out there.  I wanted to try different places, buuut I didn’t wanna go alone!?  I sent an email to some girls, and see who wanted to join me on this quest.  I found 12 more tea houses/rooms around the Bay Area to go to, and figured if we went to one new one every month, we would finish in just a year.  Sweet!

What you don’t know (and what I didn’t know then either), is what was to unfold during this journey.  Because of past experiences (that I’m not going to fully get into, but I will give you a broad description) with abuse + depression, I experienced a lot of trust + abandonment issues.  Needless to say, though I made friends easily, I didn’t like to keep them.  I used to always say: “I don’t have friends.”  These girls I speak of when I say “my girlfriends”, are ones that I’ve met from my religious background.  I never brought that up before either, and I would like my blog to remain neutral so as not to erupt ANY sort of political feedback.  That being said, I knew who they all were but I was never close with any of them.  Sure, my sister-in-laws came.  But, that’s family…

When I invited these girls, of all ages from different backgrounds and different Congregations…some knew each other, some didn’t…  I didn’t realize the upbuilding + encouraging relationships that would establish-  over TEA!!?!  We would laugh (a lot) and cry, share stories of heartache + triumphs.  Some of these girls who didn’t know each other before, have bonded + created lifelong friendships!  And me, as the host-  it was SO NEAT to see it all unfold before my eyes.  Girls that never knew each other- following each other on social media and experiencing each other’s small moments together…  Girls that never knew each other- grieving over husbands lost in death…  Girls that never knew each other- making future plans to meet with their families…

As I reflect on the last 5 years, it wasn’t just about the tea.  Sure, we had lots of great food and met beautiful cups of tea.  We talked about our jobs + family, books + art, music, recreation.  But, we really formed everlasting connections and memories.

And me, I now have FRIENDS!!

I wanna thank each and every one of you girls.  Not just for sharing this ride with me, but for growing with me.

Vero

SIL

Sarah

Mary

Tina

Patty

Alex

Francesca

Roni

Amy V

Melissa

Michelle

Amy L

Kathleen

Erica

Heather

Florence

Gardenia

Rebekah

Raquel

Claudia

Vanessa

Lorre

Brandi

Margueritte

October 22, 2016 – At our last tea party, I was excited, relieved, and sad.  It’s not over.  There are just different things we get to experience now!  And btw girls, we were invited to London…  🙂

To our Readers + Followers:  THANK YOU!!!  I never thought when my friend suggested I blog about our Tour, that OVERNIGHT more than 400 of you would be half interested in tea parties!!?!  Please continue to share your experiences with us!  Ask your girlfriends to join you!  Share tea, and bond, and grow!!  I’ll keep you updated if/when we try any new Spots. Love you guys!!  Peace.

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