Our 35th Spot:

Proper Hotel/Villon Restaurant

1100 Market Street San Francisco, CA 94102

www.properhotel.com

I don’t have a picture of the building or sign of the hotel/restaurant, cuz (1) I don’t bring my camera out when I probably shouldn’t and (2) it was a whole voyage to get there! Haha.

Learning from our Maison visit, I remembered to check the surrounding area of the Tea Spot beforehand. It suggests you park at this parking garage 4 blocks away. Yeah, we’re not doing that. Thankfully, we found one 2 blocks away (go to the one on Golden Gate yall) tho we did still have to walk through the pee-pee infested air and a handful of homeless sleeping on sidewalk and druggies getting their high right in front of us. (Again, my apologies Ladies!!) I had the most adorable group with me this time. A pair of Besties and my husband’s honorary Big Sister (which makes her my “Big SIL”), so much fun with them let me tell you!

We finally get seated at this cute little setup, catch our breaths (no more urine pollution), and take in our surroundings. Ugh, mad eclectic in there! So much random art and diverse interior design. There wasn’t really a rhyme to its reason, and I appreciated it cuz it all still worked somehow!? Just look…

It was the Besties’ first Afternoon Tea, so we celebrated that! We all talked about what teas to choose for our service. Only 9 teas to choose from, and in my experience, not usual ones you see on a tea menu. Sometimes that’s exciting…so you get to try new stuff right. But other times, especially when the blends are more out there, you kinda feel like slim pickin’s. This time, I felt like I wish I had more choices… The table ordered their Copper Leaf Black (honey-malt-longan fruit), Emperor’s Flower Oolong (noyaux-jasmine-pine nut), and Chai Assam Black (rich-spicy-sweet). I was a Bad Tea Reviewer cuz I only had mine. (cheesy emoji) ALTHOUGH, I was listening to the comments of my girls and they did like theirs! I heard the chai was a hit. Mine, (the Copper Leaf) eh. It smelled more promising than it was. Comforting, earthy, brown ricey scent. But it fell flat for me, nothing to it. Could you believe I only had the one pour?! The rest of the time, I was drinking my water.

I did like that they give you the option to change out for another blend, tho. I like when Tea Spots allow you to do that.

Not soon after, here came someone with a PLATE of food. “Huh? Oh! Do we get Welcome Appetizers?! My favorite!” is what I was thinking. Let me back up and mention that we walked into the tea area, seeing this gorgeous group of girls in their fascinators and like THREE TOWERS on their table!! Where were our towers?? (sad cringey emoji) Then he set down this plate, and oh. It was our sandwiches. Raise your hand if you know how I feel about tea party food all on one plate? For those that don’t, click here. And here. Remember in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (I always have to put the dots!) when Joey screams, “Joey doesn’t share food!!”? Here’s me: “I don’t like all my tea party food on just one plate!!”

So here’s your boring picture of all the tea sandwiches on one plate.

Again, they don’t have the items listed on the menu. Again, I couldn’t remember everything they said when they told us all of it. (hahah) And again, I’m not gonna have the official names listed on here. To be fair, we did ask him maybe 2-3 times what the sandwiches were… He was just so sweet + so soft spoken, we could barely hear! So I’m gonna do my best yall. But at least you’ll have picture reference. (Oh yeah, and where I was sitting the lighting wasn’t great…so these shots aren’t well, great. I did my best. Yall know I’m not a photographer!)

Cucumber Mascarpone – The lighter cheese is so different! You expect a creamier, more viscous situation right. The mascarpone wasn’t it for me. And their ratio was off. Too much cream. Doesn’t make for a cute sandwich either. [Check out the size comparison to the utensils beside my saucer. These sandwiches were the size of cutting a standard slice of bread in 4…like for four square!]

Goat Cheese, Arugula + Jam – Before I got to mine, I was already hearing that this was a table favorite. And my girls weren’t wrong! It only took one bite for me to know that I should set this one on the side, so I can save the best for last! (You were singing the song in your head huh? Yeah you were! I heard it!) This combo was bomb-dot-com. I don’t know if people are saying that still…but I’m sure you guys get tired of reading “SLAMMIN” from me. Gotta change it up on yall once in a while!

Spicy Egg Salad – They said this one was spicy, but none of us thought it was. Least favorite of the one-half of Besties that was sitting next to me. It was turmericy or curryish. I didn’t mind it tho! But the bread. I don’t know if these were toasted or left out for a while…but- not only was the bread nutty (so you had to fight to chew those), but it was also scratchy! For me, anyway. The other half of Besties that was sitting in front of me, says hers were all soft. So I’m glad she got good ones.

Smoked Salmon Crepe – I can remember the texture of this one just looking at it again, and it’s not a good feeling. (dry-heave) Our best guess was that these are crepe layers in between the salmon. And possibly a very thin layer of spreadable cheese. Light sprinkles of some sort of herb on the side, that didn’t make any kind of difference to the flavor. But this thing was SO SOGGY you guys!! Think: cold crepe and the thinnest salmon slices that were dipped in water! Yuckth. I don’t know how they managed to dilute the flavor of “smoked” salmon, but they did it alright. At one point I said, “Ugh, I don’t think I could finish this…” And my girl cut in and urged “Don’t do it!!” Hahah! She was looking out for me, thank you boo!

Yayyy we got towers!! That’s more like it. (humble emoji) I learned my lesson and started writing down as he was talking about what each of these were! I got most of it…hahaha.

Macaron – No, I didn’t get what flavor this one was. I’ve failed you already with the desserts! Something chocolatey with a hint of peanut butter maybe. Whatever it was, there was a surprising punch of flavor in the middle! So unexpected, but so welcomed!

Chocolate Cake – Soo soft cake. Nice bitter aftertaste. We think those were espresso beans on the top, crunchy + coffee-esque!

Rainbow Cake – This one had a nice almond extract flavor, but didn’t taste artificial (which I expected with all that food coloring). Really moist sponge, too.

Strawberry Basil Cake – Ooh, this dessert completely caught me off guard. I sliced it with their butter knife and put that slice in my mouth while someone was mid-sentence and- WOW. Delicious combination of strawberry jelly topping, strawberry mousse, and basil cake. I loved this!

Olive Oil Mascarpone Cake – I saved this bite for last, cuz I love olive oil stuff!! Not just cuz of my name…but I genuinely do! Salt & Straw makes this amazing olive oil ice cream!! The creamiest most flavorful thing ever. (my whole mouth just filled up with saliva typing about it) Boy was I sorry. It was dry. Not really a flavor to it. Bleh.

Plain Scone – I was asked recently if I like a plain scone or scones with stuff in it… I don’t mind a currant or berry once in a while. But I think my preference would be plain, so I can taste all of the presented fixings brought out with the service. I was hearing from the girls how sweet this scone was. And Ladies + Gentlemen: this was the first time I did not use anything for my scone!! A good sturdy scone (more like a biscuit) that was sweet enough, but not too sweet.

The service was good. We got these two really sweet + reserved servers. Even the host that sat us was quite mild. We were offered hot water often and checked on a reasonable amount. At the end when my girlfriend asked if she could bring home her fixings, they brought out huge containers of each in a bag for her.

One of my girls commented that she felt people were noticing us having a good time, cuz…well…we LAUGHED the entire time!! These girls are a hoot! We shared hearty laughter (the bent over, faces turning red kind) til our stomachs hurt. Cannot wait to Tea it up with them again.

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Our 34th Spot:

Maison Danel

1030 Polk Street San Francisco, CA 94109

http://www.maisondanel.com

This was a special visit, because I got to bring the Huz with me!! Of the 22 years we’ve been together, 12 of which I have been going to tea- this will only be our SECOND TIME! (read about our first visit here) So the anticipation for this Tea Date kept growing since I made the reservation.

We’re no strangers to driving into the City. We live about 45-minutes away, but we have a few eateries out here that we’re loyal to. I, as well, commuted into the City as a kid for 12 years with my family. Do we know the City well? Let’s say: we’re “familiar”. Tho as we drove deeper in and toward our location, things weren’t looking so great. Haha! Once again, let me just say right here that I don’t like to see anything about Tea Spots I’m going to visit in advance. I’m sure I’m repeating myself verbatim from a previous post, but- I won’t follow them on social media, I won’t look at the menu, I won’t look at pictures. I’m as clean of a slate as possible when I walk through their front door! All I knew about Maison Danel was from the one picture I accidentally saw that looked really fancy in there. Did I pay attention to the street it was on or location it was? Of course not! (rolling eyes emoji) So yes, we all of a sudden saw a bunch of trash and carts and yes, homeless. Now before I get political views in my comments or messages (also be nice or be blocked), I have nothing against the homeless community. As a matter of fact, my heart hurts when I see some. As a matter of fact, I grew up with a father who pretty much adopted a homeless man and gave him everything but the clothes off his back every night we saw him on the way home during our commute! My issue is: I have clinical OCD/Germaphobia. Like not “ohmygosh I’m so OCD heh heh heh”, but forreal diagnosed by a Dr OCD. So yes, being around homeless ones triggers a lot of my anxieties. I’m not (quote/unquote) scared either being around “rough” people. Don’t forget I’m from Richmond, CA.

I wanted to go home dood. HAHA! The deeper we got, the crazier it looked. And, I just was not in the mood to be brave that day!! Hahahah. I posted about it on Threads, follow us! @parteawithmeblog But, we had a reservation. AND, I was determined to review this place for yall. Um, yer WELCOME!! (sticking out tongue emoji) So after looking for parking for about 20-minutes, we THANKFULLY found a spot on the very next block. What? Oh there are no pictures of the building, you said? You’rrre right!! I wasn’t gonna pull out my DSLR for that! Yall get a picture of the menu!! (laughing crying emoji)

Okay. Whew! We’re in, we’re settled. I was so FRAZZLED you guys!! Here’s the best shots I got of inside…

Great selection of teas! I was impressed. So many good ones to choose from. I wanted to try at least 3 of em! I always try to get something different, but (and my longtime followers will know this one) something caught my eye that I couldn’t leave alone. They had a black vanilla yall!! So of course, I chose that one. The Huz was more adventurous than me, and took their Le Mont Blanc (a silver needle white with melon, honey and floral notes).

Vanilla Black – Smelled AMAZING! It was so nostalgic for me. First sip was light, needed to be steeped longer. I could tell there was something different about it…it had cinnamon!? Didn’t expect that. Even after a longer steep, it was still not as bold as I would like. But, still quite a good tea.

Le Mont Blanc – Oh the Huz loved his! He even got more hot water to refill his pot! He said he liked the moments of sweetness in there. When I tried it, I thought it was faint and perfumey. But I was happy for him!! [Also, photo cred: him. How cute is his picture of his tea!?]

Okay. (exhale) Here’s where things started getting hectic and funny over here. I’m sitting in front of a window- or wait, or should I say: there was a window behind me. So, I was getting a lot of sunlight. It was so tricky to get these next shots coming up. But the tier. Oh that tier! Let me set this up for you guys… I was frazzled. I already mentioned that. From the germs, the parking, all of it. And even after 22 years, I still wanted to be cute for my husband. We don’t have regularly scheduled dates, so when we do go on them- we make it count! I was very aware who I was with that day!! I know his mannerisms. I could tell when his breathing pattern changes mmkay! And it’s not like he was having a bad time or anything. I was just in anticipation for it, or concerned about it, or just aware. This was also a ‘Working Tea’, which he knew and didn’t mind. Actually, that part was his favorite. Since taking my family to Muir’s, he’s been wanting to see me work again. I was given some tips from the lovely Boozie Brunch (follow her here!) on how to make better Reels, so I was excited to try them out. I don’t know how to make Reels yall. And that’s where it’s at on socials, so I better get better. But the Huz and I were CRAC-KING UP on my attempts at filming these things!! The frazzle-ness, the ‘wanting to be cute’, the experimental Reels filming…and oh yeah, this was the first time I was posting real time thoughts on Threads! All of it was just a lot. (awkward funny face emoji) But we were still enjoying our time!

You know how when they bring the tiers out and they start naming what each item is? And you know how I never pay attention cuz I’m already overwhelmed with how pretty everything is and I’m already anxious about getting my shots + videos before all my friends starve? But it’s okay cuz I take pictures of the menu so I’ll know what everything is later when I do my reviews anyway. WELL. The stuff isn’t on their menu! Hahaha. I don’t have the official names, but I’ll do my best at describing them. Hey, at least you’ll have my picture to go off of!

Cucumber + Egg Sandwich – I didn’t like the burnt scratchy toast, needed salt, and it jacked up the roof of my mouth for the rest of my meal.

Smoked Salmon Croissant – Sooo good! We think it was creme fraiche inside…I coulda had more of that. But the pastry was perfect. [Btw, I’ve been meaning to clarify something cuz it’s been bothering my conscience…and I’m gonna take this opportunity here to do that! When I visited the St. Regis, I said that I had never had caviar before. But I was reminded that I in fact DID have caviar before then, while visiting the Palace. Whew! I’m so glad I got that out!!]

Ham + Cheese Croissant – Don’t ask me what kind of cheese, cuz I didn’t listen member? All I know was it was a juicy, squishy, white cheese (that I probably wasn’t supposed to have, cuz I’m lactose sensitive), and I couldn’t have enough of it. Unexpected punch of flavor. That crunch from the toasted pastry was beautiful! Wasn’t too salty either. I just kept saying “mmohmygosh” after every bite…

Custard Croissant – Very simply good. Reminded me of egg pie.

Madeleine – When the Huz took a bite of his, he says to me “oh you’re gonna love this one!” At my first bite- it’s LILIKOI!! (three clapping hands emjois) I love anything passion fruit, absolute fave. This was no different. Not too strong. My favorite thing from the tier!

Macaron – Again with the surprises!? This was so shockingly good. Very fluffy shell, and just as fluffy filling. (we think it was raspberry) So light + airy. Was not expecting how much I would adore this one. 2nd favorite for sure.

Almond Cookie – There was a bite to it, kinda chewy.

Cake – Reeally should’ve listened when she was talking about this one. Especially cuz there was some sauces on the side, and we weren’t sure what to put them on!? I thought she said ‘carrot’, the Huz thought something else. I only took a bite, but he loved this one!

Cranberry Twist – So fun! Nice crunch, cranberry bits in there, the custard was really good.

Remember when Phoebe was offered some salt water taffy? What the mother of crap is up with this stuff?? . . . Oh it’s nice, may I try a pink one? That’s how the Huz described me while I was trying these! Hahah. I wasn’t sure about them at first. And then I liked it! Ha!

Lemon – I’m not a fan of lemon stuff, but the cake was good.

Raspberry – Started off tasting like air freshener, but the aftertaste was nice. Lol.

Apricot – The little bit of chocolate in there made this one.

Milk Chocolate – Classic caramel, good.

Dark Chocolate – Marshmallow was fun. A little more bitter than I like. But the Huz said it was a good finisher.

All in all, it was a great tea service! You can def tell it was a patisserie where the bread SHINES. Lots of food, really good portions, worth what it cost. Would I come back? Hm. If someone dropped me off at the front door and I didn’t have to walk through what I had to walk through to get there, then YES! Customer service was good. We even got a server with a delicious French accent! Place was really clean, bathroom was gorgeous.

Having my husband there was too much fun. We were Best Friends to begin with, before we became anything intimate. Two abused kids who found safety in each other. Got married way too early. Made a life together, had a couple kids. Had to figure out how to be ‘husband’ and ‘wife’. We have been th-rough it okaaay!! And after healing and meeting oursleves, we just laugh and laugh and laugh. Like the Best Friends we started off as. I still have a crush on him. He still gives me butterflies. I still look at him like when he was my boyfriend! And I will never forget how he looked when he opened the truck door for me that afternoon before we left for home. Love you Poppi, my Samoan Love.

But before I finish this post, a little Story Time… Next to us, there were 3 Cutie Girls. They just looked like they were having a grand ol’ time! Because I’m the friendly girl that talks to everyone that I am, I had to comment on their cuteness! We finished around the same time, and I had to ask if this was their first time. We got to know each other and switched Instagram handles. How cute are they!? They are all Calligraphists!! (three open mouth emojis) What cool jobs! Check out their socials here: @blanca_lewis_calligraphy @alcove_calligraphy @wildflowerlettering We all follow each other and get to know each other a little bit more… Come to find out- 2 of them have family in common with us!!! Too too sweet. We’ll definitely be having tea together in the future, so stay tuned for that!!

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Our 32nd Spot:

Son & Garden

535 Bryant Street Palo Alto, CA 94301

www.sonandgarden.com

[Again, my Spots are not misnumbered. Read our last Blog Post for full explanation.]

Since I had an unexpected hospitalization, I had to reschedule this Tea from last month. All over the confirmation emails, it says “nonrefundable” or “cannot be modified”…so I thought I was gonna have a hard time. Thankfully, the owner or manager I spoke with was so kind about the whole thing. It was easy to change my reservation, and she even understood me well all through my labored speaking voice.

You can see ALL THOSE FLOWERS from the sidewalk. I got there before my girls, and checked us in…taking all the hundreds of florals in. I could hear Miley in my head! Smaller venue than what I expected. I don’t know why or how these instagram posts or TikToks make these places look more massive and luxurious than they actually are…? Hashtag, click-bait…or wait, visit-bait! 😛

I’m so glad we made it in time for their Cherry Blossom Tea Service. Even tho I didn’t specifically know what it entailed, I just love that whole vibe. My daughter is big into cherry blossoms. Sometimes I call her “Sakura” and she answers to it! Hehe. We did that in Japantown once, and people kept looking at us as if in awe that we picked that for her name!! Her actual middle name IS in Japanese, chosen by my husband (who is infatuated with the culture).

Soon after our party was seated, they brought over their Welcome Drink: Spring Time (Japanese Sakura Flower, Fruity & Floral, Lemon, Bubbly Water). I only had a sip. It was pretty tho, came in a cute square glass cup, had 1 blossom floating around…very aesthetic. It was nice, sweet. And I love Welcome Stuff!! Have you ever watched that Vacation show on Netflix?! Every time they got to a new rental, they had Arrival Appetizers waiting on the counter for them! I was fascinated. I love Arrival Appetizers!! (can you tell?)

I had this place Pinned on a Board for a while. Looked really cute, had this funky appeal. Happy to’ve added it on the Tour, of course! Then I saw this ad or post somewhere of something called a “Bobamosa”. Looked so cool and the promo was so eye-catching! My Assistant (I don’t really have one, that’s just my gf’s nickname hehe) loves boba, so I showed her. Of course she’d be invited to this Tea. And of course she ordered it! We saw all these cool drinks coming out, with moss all over them and branches sticking out! Those weren’t her’s tho. Oh, here her’s came. Oh. She said it was just okay… Fully champagne (no juice involved) with strawberry popping boba. Here’s the promo, and here’s what she got… Not our first Instagram vs. Reality moment with this Spot.

You saw the table we were working with right? No tiers at this place. No, this Tea Spot presented their tea party food on CARTS!! Ugh, could you just die at all this floral cuteness!!?! I can’t. I couldn’t, then. We took all the videos + pictures + boomerangs we could! I joked with our table, “we can eat in about ten minutes!” Haha. Oh! I forgot to mention who I brought with me!? Okay, so- my Assistant (the boba-lover), and 2 dear dear friends (mother + daughter, but their relationship is so sweet they could be Besties!) that I’ve wanted to hang out with for a while now. Mom + sweet girl have never been to Tea, so Firsties!! (jazz hands emoji) So, they bring TWO of these carts out AND 2 medium size plates of scones + pastries. Where are we supposed to put all this stuff?? We manage to find room…but I could barely see my friend!? Haha. I have to like duck or reach over flowers, if I want to have any kind of communication with her!

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Matcha Scone – These were the most gorgeous looking scones I’ve ever seen at a tea service! A beautiful shade of green, if I do say so myself. And they came out warm! (I love having warm fresh scones!!) Took my first bite…oh. So dry + crumbly! And really lacked flavor. Someone from our table said they “tasted like burnt matcha”. Yikes. I went to wash it down with my t- hold on, I don’t have tea?? Isn’t this a TEA party?! Let me back up- first of all (ooh, you know it’s bad when someone starts with those 3 words huh), if you scroll up a bit you can see a little leaf thing sticking out our teacups. They had a TEABAG sitting in the cup. I wanna say I was introduced to this brand at the last SF Tea Fest I went to…or maybe it was a sample that was sent to me. But I don’t think I was very impressed, or I would have remembered. So it was just that one tea type. And it was just sitting there.

In the cup.

Looking at me,

choking on my dry burnt matcha scone. Haha!

Dood! We were well into passed a half an hour of our tea service with no tea man!? Come on! I had to request water for it. Now I’ve had Cherry Blossom teas before (oh yeah, that was the flavor of this tea…surprise!) The St. Regis serves a really good one, but my favorite and a staple at home is Harney & Sons. This one was just full on cherry flavor. Not much to it.

Okay (sigh), for the rest of this tea service I’m gonna go relatively fast. There’s a lot of items they served, but not really much to say about any of em…unfortunately. This is verbatim what I wrote in my phone about each of these… You’ll see what I mean at the end of this post. Just wait for it.

Ham & Cheese Danish – dry + crispy

Cucumber + Dill Sandwich – crunchy cucumbers, didn’t like the cream

Egg Salad + Chive Sandwich – nice, comforting, needs salt (tho one person at our table didn’t think so 😉 )

Salmon + Cream Cheese + Dill – LOTS of it (let me expand on this… the ratio was not good, salmon was overpowering); this was a favorite of one of my girls however, so it was nice to see her enjoying it! OH! And we had fun with that edible butterfly! “It’s EDIBLE you know!!”

There were ELEVEN sweet things to their FIVE savory things. Here we go…

Raspberry Sorbet – very sweet, someone said it reminded them of “Jamba Juice”; I thought this was more of a cutesy thing

Orange Blossom Honey Madeleine – dense but nice flavor, like the frosting thing on top

Lemon Tart – nice pastry, a little too much lemon for me, artificial lemon

Chocolate Raspberry Tart – artificial flavors

Macaron – this was the only thing I liked, I think it was vanilla

Assorted Petite Pastries – [round] dry, crumbly, bland; [square] had fun crispies

Opera Cake – good, coffee

Whew! We’re done, we made it. There was just so much to try. I forgot to mention on the onset just how overwhelmed we were in the beginning. They packed those carts so full. And you would think that was a good thing, but most of the items lacked quality in flavor. Everything was more “CUTE” than good. There were quite a few pieces my friends didn’t even get to. And no one really wanted to take anything home either. I reluctantly did, cuz I don’t like to waste. I literally just took ONE BITE out of each thing just so I could write about it. I mean, look!! Evidence!

Overall, this Spot is more of a ‘trendy’ ‘instagram’ ‘tiktok’ place to me. I mean, one of their corners even has a neon sign and a ring light!!? (monkey closing eyes emoji) Food was mediocre. Service was good. If you ask me (this is where my husband would start on his spiel about Tea Houses and Tea Rooms needing to hire me as a Tea Consultant!!), I would cut down on your offerings and just focus on maybe 7 or 8 really GOOD things. They fall into the category of having a tea service just to have a tea service, if you know what I mean. Oh that’s another thing- they only offer it on weekdays and last seating is at 1p/1:30p. (eh emoji) For the price we paid, I expected more… My takeaway: I’m glad I got to spend time with my girls! Can’t wait to take them to a better one next time.

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Our 33rd Spot:

Malaya Tea Room

920 Central Avenue Alameda, CA 94501

malayatearoom.com

No, it’s not a typo and no, I didn’t miscount our Spot order. For those not following us on Instagram, I post on there almost every day…with updates too, like I was in the hospital last month. (so follow us!!) Soo, we had to reschedule our Spot #32 aand it happened to fit in our calendar only after this month’s Tea. Now that that’s all squared away, let’s get to the reason you clicked on this blog post!

I was happy to have found this spot when I was researching new afternoon tea places to visit for this Leg. Looked very quaint and I was attracted to that. What struck me first was the name “Malaya”. I grew up with a Filipino cousin named Malaya… Was this place Islandy…? You all already know by now that I don’t like to look at pictures or websites or menus before I visit. I didn’t even follow them on social media yet, tho I was so curious!? Not only do I love the element of surprise, BUT I aaalways want to come to a place with a clear + open mind.

There were 5 of us. I asked 4 new friends to come (2 were mother + daughter). Explained that part of the parTEA with me Tour experience was the ride over! Oh that ride. We all had laughed so hard! Such a blast with these girls. Appreciating the neighborhoods filled with Alameda’s Victorian homes and listening to relaxing/vibey tunes… Just made the excitement + anticipation for this spot way more enjoyable.

When Malaya called me to confirm our reservation, I didn’t know there was an option to eat outside. And whooo loves to eat outsiiiide?! Meee! Yayyy! (see what this does to me)

Aside from the cars parked right behind us…look how CUTE!! Upon seating, one of the staff saw my friend helping Mom at the head of our table and he swiftly grabbed a more comfortable chair for her to sit. Already scoring points with me, Malaya! And the interior was just as darling. Even the bathroom was stunning. (don’t worry, I didn’t bring my camera in there)

They had a unique menu. ‘British Flavors’ and “Malaya Flavors’. They had classic English tea party foods, like the cucumber and smoked salmon. Then all these really cool Malaysian ones! Five from each. And, we were able to choose 2 sandwich flavors for each tea service. Mom got her own special two, and the 4 of us (because we’re smart!) got one of each kind!! (only minus 1 flavor from each category) We wanted to try everything, cuz they all sounded so good + intriguing. (I’m sure you’re tired of me using that word at least once in each blog post to describe some food item or tea, I’m tired of it myself! But oftentimes that’s really the only way to describe it!)

[photo credit to my girl sitting in front of me for this one!]

They took our tea orders first. LOTS to choose from. Let me count- okay, 33 of em. At our table, we got:

Malaya’s Signature Golden Monkey – “Creamy, strong, a little sweet, and nice,” says my funniest friend there.

Citrus Oolong – Mom says “it reminds me of my favorite Chinese restaurant!”

Jasmine Silver Tip – My feisty girlfriend says this one was “just okay”…but she just needed to steep it a bit longer.

No. 14, with grapefruit and cocoa nibs – I’m so glad she ordered this one cuz I wanted to try it too! Says this one had a “very familiar taste” and kinda reminded her of Thai tea!

Paris Morning, smooth black tea with a hint of cherry – My choice! It was a toss up between this one and a butter + caramel one for me, so I took our server’s suggestion. Glad I did cuz it was a nice creamy tea (yall should know by now) with a mild tartness in the back. Very good!

I think I was expecting 2 small triangle sandwich pieces for each flavor, that we were gonna have to cut ourselves in two in order for the 4 of us to try…? So it’s an absolute understatement when I tell you that I was astonished when those tiers came out. THE CLASSIC FINGER SANDWICH AAHHH!!! I can’t remember for the life of me if any of the 31 other Tea Spots we’ve visited ever served them this way!? A lot of em try to do cute shapes and cut things or make things that are pretty…but not practically eatable. What comes to mind is: Exhibit A = Linde Lane‘s open-faced cucumber sandwich flower that I had to eat like a taco! (face palm emoji) And (sigh) there were 4 of each of them (sigh).

Cucumber with dill cream cheese – Again, yall know my routine by now…I went for the cucumber. Guys- so surpriiiised!? (mouth open emoji) I kind of expect the cucumber ones to be ordinary. Over 30 Tea Spots tried, and maybe just a handful of them have caught my attention enough to further examine what I am eating! Haha. This one had me do just that! An above average CLASSIC cucumber sandwich. And I don’t know why I was so shocked to taste the dill (cuz it says on the menu), but that was just such a welcome discovery hahah! Not all tea rooms take the time to add something extra to their cucumber. And Malaya is tellin yall to step up your game pee-pole!!

Smoked salmon with chive cream cheese – Of course. Lured to what I know, I grabbed the salmon next. And again with that bread!! I noticed it the first time but didn’t mention anything… That is some of the CHEWIEST bread everrr! (big eyes emoji) And yall know that’s my favorite. But this one was extremely noteworthy. Like, I was ready to ask for the brand or their baker’s phone number. Very good flavor and perfect ratio.

Turkey, brie & fig jam – Okay, it’s brie’s turn. Another really good sandwich. That’s 3 for 3 guys! I could have used a bit more of the fig butter (that’s just my preference), but such a good combo of flavors. Thumbs up!

[I was gonna try the last of the British flavors here, but the table told me to hold off. Tell you why later!]

My Seat Mate Date (hehe, the cutie girl sitting in front of me) (who by the way is totally hired cuz she remembered all the deats about each of the food items AND had excellent suggestions about my food shots!!) created these awesome “poses” of all the sandwiches in order of how they appeared on the menu THEN took photos of them with it! So cute right. And since these looked so sad by their lonesome, I copied her and made my own stack! (hey, I’m giving credit where its due)

By now I would have had a pile of half-eaten sandwiches somewhere, so I could move along and save room to try more stuff. But everything was gone. I was finishing all my sandwiches guys!? It was just the perfect portion. And they were all so amazing, I wanted every morsel of em!!

Meat Floss with basil spread – I’ve heard of meat floss before. And have seen it associated with Asian bakeries. And, that’s just what this tea sandwich reminded me of: a nice pork bun! Strange to think of it paired with “Italian” basil, so I’m thinking it was the Thai kind.

Malaysian style pork jerky with light mayo – “Lap cheong!” I can hear Yan Can Cook! That’s what this made me think of. It was a thick piece of meat, I wasn’t expecting that. But easy to bite down on and break off. You won’t be like taking your first bite and the whole thing has to come out! Don’t you hate that?

Again, I made a note here in my phone: “I don’t ever eat full sandwiches.” Cuz I was still in disbelief that I was eating everything I picked up…in full!!?!

Southeast asian style Curry chicken – (I’ve been writing all these food titles/names how they have them on their menu btw) It was sweet, didn’t expect that. I usually really like the curry ones, but this one was my least favorite so far. I think it was green oniony, that’s why. I still ate the whole thing tho. Hahah.

Coconut jam with sliced cold butter – Looking at this photo and calling to mind the words that I’m going to type about this tea sandwich…I wish I had some of these right now! So yummy!! Made me think of the butter + sugar sandwiches Daddy made me for breakfast, when I was a little girl. (in love emoji) Something about those butter slices man. Ugh. Such a good one!

And here’s those 4 cuties together!

Bittersweet marmalade with salted butter – Now for this one… No one at the table liked it, and my funny girlfriend said it killed her tastebuds. So that’s why she suggested I save it for last. Didn’t want the rest of my meal ruined… (Thanks gurlll!) I tried it. It was an overpowering bitter.

A savory canape – This was their savory treat included in the tea service. All that is potato! It’s a lot of potato. But nice kick at the end with that gooseberry! And of course I loved that cracker situation at the bottom.

Isn’t this dessert plate stunning?? Thanks again to my photoshoot assistant who brought the plate down for me from the tier so it could have its own moment! 🙂 Let’s get into it…

Now I don’t have the official names for these, and I cheated and looked off their social media (and the internet, thanks Google!) to learn more about this one! It’s a Kuih Lapis, an Indonesian treat! ‘Lapis’ means ‘layers’. It’s a steam rice + tapioca cake that you eat by layer. We didn’t know that tho. HAHA! While we were there. So, we just took bites of it! Still really fun to eat. Chewy texture. Reminded me a lot of a Filipino dessert called ‘kutsinta’!

This was a Pandan Cake. Nice light sponge, mild coconut flavor. I was getting so full after eating all those sandwiches, so I just took a bite or two of this one.

Black Sesame marshmallow and Rose marshmallow, I think. As small as these were, they still packed good flavor! (and yeas, I cut them in half so my Seat Mate could try too!) No solo pic of the rocks… But if you scroll a bit up, you can see them. They are chocolates! A nice little chocolatey bite when needed during your tea service!

MY SCONE!!!

I totally forgot about my scone.

I was so in love with the finger sandwiches, I completely skipped the scone dood!? I was hearing the table talk about how sweet the scone was, when I realized I hadn’t even had mine yet. I quickly put some fixings on my plate and took a few bites. A bit crumbly for my liking, and yes it was sweet. But not a bad scone.

Overall, I was THOROUGHLY impressed with this place. I always get nervous taking people to new tea houses, cuz I don’t want them to be disappointed if it’s bad. But I can’t say enough how much I loved this new tea Spot!! The customer service was terrific as well. Our server came out and talked with us, and paying was really convenient too. It was clean! Everything!! Nothing bad to say. I’ve been entering each new one in my updated raTEAngs list, and just so you know- Malaya Tea Room is up there. 😉 Already making plans to go back!

Malaya, if you’re reading this- I would pay more than what you are charging for this tea service. You are that good. #KnowYourWorth

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Our 31st Spot:

The RoyalTea Garden

163 West Neal Street Pleasanton, CA 94566

http://www.royalteagarden.com

Early during the Pandemic, daydreaming about tea party food, I found out that one of my favorite Tea Spots closed. I was so sad! I mean this Tea Spot, The English Rose Tea Room, had remained on my number 1 spot in my raTEAngs for twenty-one spots!!?! That means something. There were many times I visited, not just the part 2, that I didn’t even blog about. There were a hundred teas to try, good quality teas. And everything I ever ate from there was spectacular. So naturally, when I heard a new tea room was there in its place…I was intrigued.

It was the first spot I scheduled on my new Tour. (I know I know, we’ve already visited iChina, Four Seasons, and St. Regis… But don’t forget: iChina was a date, Four Seasons was a surprise, and St. Regis was leftover from the previous list. So this really was the first!!) They had some big shoes to fill. Not that they never stood a chance…I know enough to be fair. I asked my Assistant 😉 (remember the girl from iChina, this will be her Blog nickname!), her daughter-in-law’s sister (a new friend + sweetest girl ever), and some other new friends (who I love!) that I haven’t seen in a while since they moved, to come with! This was also the first time I’d be having tea with ones who’s never seen me at a “working tea”!? So, I was a little nervous about that. I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t enjoying myself as well or part of the conversation. But they were simply the best! They let me do my thing and had a ball themselves! So much laughter at this tea!! I even got quite a few quotes from them, so they were totally helpful too. I have to take a moment here to thank my husband… I didn’t put this is the last post, but- a really cool thing that happened from taking my family to Muir’s, was that I was able to get their honest feedback for how it was to watch me or be with me while I was working. The Huz says that it was neat to see how I could take my photos + notes, and then seamlessly transition into the conversation with them. So knowing this, put me more at ease about having tea with new ones! (sigh!) And *shout out* to my Regulars for sharing me and understanding/allowing me to experience tea with my new friends until their turn again. (three gratitude emojis here)

Our reservation was at 3p. We were hauling booty to make it there on time! We got there with 5-minutes to spare. Walked up to the door…and there was kind of a crowd outside. No one was inside. One of the girls from this party said we should go inside to let them know we were here, cuz she said she waited a good 10-minutes before anyone came out to see her. The door was unlocked, so I walked inside. I was met with a frantic girl, saying they weren’t ready but that they would call us when they were. I asked if I could take a few pics of the interior and she let me. By the time I got back outside, there were another 2 parties that showed up. With us, that made four groups of people congregated at their front door. Not cute. Their door is right on the sidewalk too, so we were probably also violating some penal code haha (shrugs) I don’t know!? I should’ve looked at my clock by the time they let us in, but I believe it was after 3p. “I don’t like that Raymond.” (if you’ve watched Everybody Loves Raymond you’ll know what that’s about)

I was taking it all in. Relying on my photographic memory of The English Rose. (again, NOT COMPARING) Just wanted to see what was different… I liked it! Not as crowded, not as much vintage floral. The decor was more minimal: the same green striped walls, but with these huge big flowers on the wall. Pretty! They walked us to our table, and I was excited to get the one all the way in the back in its own special nook. (I always wanted to sit there at The English Rose) (You guys are all probably like: “If she talks about The English Rose one more time…” huh!? Haha, sorry.) Cute minimal tablescape. What I didn’t like: our scone was already sitting there. Ew. Who knows for how long. Aand, one of my friends didn’t even get one. (of course I asked for one for her)

Upon being seated, our server offered us an arrival tea. Pear & Cinnamon, she says. I don’t think I’ve talked about it much on here, but when I created my tea line- I love me a PEAR TEA!! (if yall don’t know about pear tea, get on board) So of course, I welcomed some! Eh. Bland and luke warm, very mild cinnamon flavor, no pear whatsoever. After we settled in, she got us their tea menus. Looked very familiar. (I’m gonna say it, get ready) Looked a lot like The English Rose’s (haha), there were def some tea names and flavors that I remembered. [And because I’m a detective, when I got home I looked and did a side-by-side. Yes, most of the same tea offerings. And I’m only saying this cuz for those of us who miss The English Rose so dearly- at least you can get some of their tea flavors again if you wish.] This was a good thing, because The English Rose had some SLAMMIN TEAS. So at least that.

Okay tho, so for what I didn’t like. (ugh) They only allowed THREE pots of teas for our table of 6. Isn’t this a TEA party yall?? Shouldn’t we get to have tea? The tea that we want to have with our tea party food? I’m just checking. (rolling my eyes) Yeah, another I-Don’t-Like-That-Raymond moment. That meant, that, 2 of the girls that I took with me (cuz I would’ve had whatever so that they got to choose), wouldn’t get to try the teas that they wanted to try!! And that wasn’t fair. Granted, they allow you to ask for another pot(s) later in the tea service (which wouldn’t’ve mattered anyway…more on that later). BUT, you don’t get to have the tea you want initially…after dangling those hundred tea flavors on their menu in front of you first. AND, they didn’t tell us this from the get. So we all took a moment to narrow down our choices, only to find out when she came back that we better get our act together and compromise on just THREE while she’s standing there waiting. We did Creme Brulee, Marvelous Mango, and Earl Grey.

Creme Brulee – I know I had had this one before. A great cup of tea. More on the sweet side. But if you’re a creamy tea lover (like I am), you’ll like this one. The caramel and sugar are highlighted.

Marvelous Mango – I hadn’t had this one yet, but was hearing so much about it. The Table Favorite for sure. Here’s what my girls were saying: “Not too sweet, not overwhelming” … “fruit teas have the tendency to be like a liquid fruit, but this one tastes like a mango just got boiled in there”. They also said it reminded them of their favorite mango boba. When I finally had some, it was nice! Smelled and tasted like a body lotion, but not in a bad way.

Earl Grey – Didn’t get to try this one. But they said that it was “simple”, “worked well with the savories”, and “perfect for breakfast with the scone”.

You guys- (I’m really not trying to be mean) this is how forgettable this food was… I forgot to add a picture of the tier!? I’m here a month and a half later, updating this post, only because I was creating + scheduling posts for our social media aand lo + behold: no tier! So here it is:

[Oh, I forgot to put my Disclaimer… So- I was sitting in the furthest + darkest corner of the tea room, so these pictures aren’t great. I like to use natural light and I don’t fuss or filter anything when I post on here. She keeps it real mmkay. Maaaybe add some brightness sometimes, but that’s it. So just know, that these are the best I could get. Not my best work, but they’ll have to do.]

Scone – [Btw, they didn’t leave a menu or have one posted on their website AND I don’t memorize when they do a rundown of what’s on the tiers…so I don’t have the official names or titles of these food items.] Too fluffy and cakey. Didn’t break open good, not sturdy enough for the fixings. It will crumble. Not very flavorful either. Oh and I hated that fixings carousel they put the cream, preserves + lemon curd in! It was flimsy.

Cucumber Sandwich – Crunchy + thick cucumbers, I liked. House bread (meaning it wasn’t a quality bread or anything fancy) and way too much cream.

Egg Salad Sandwich – Not much flavor, very homemade, did like the pepper tho.

Turkey – My friend goes “oh the burrito”. Haha! Not cute guys, come on! Her sister said “such a millennial thing to make it a burrito!” It was dry and needs more flavor.

Smoked Salmon – I had to take a poll at the table if I should try to bite this in half or not. It’s a one-biter, or the thing will fall apart. And if you have a small mouth like me, it will take some time and maneuvering things around in there before you could swallow it all. (awkward emoji) So good tho! Flavors all worked wonderfully together and the crackers made that thing. Fun crunch + texture. (I know you were waiting for me to use that word) (at least I’ve stopped talking about The English Rose ha!)

Tomato Tart Thing – Had nice pastry. I didn’t like how the tomato jerky didn’t bite well. Like, you have to bite down hard and saw it with your chompers for a while before it breaks apart. Again, too much cream.

Beef Wellington – I remembered the name of this one! Before I even tried it, I could hear the table talking about the strength of the ‘horseradish’ or ‘wasabi’ they were saying. The pastry was dry. It was too much sauce and too strong. I couldn’t taste beef or mushroom or anything. Just all sauce.

At this point in our tea, we were offered another pot. The girls wanted more of the Mango, and my Assistant wanted something different and asked me to choose. I spotted their Peaches and Cream and asked for a consensus. A resounding yes, so that’s what we ordered.

Peaches and Cream – Smells so good! “You can smell the peach but taste the cream,” one of my girls said. It was a great choice and I am glad we tried it. I had that one for the rest of our visit.

Macaron – It was okay. It was lemon that day.

Cream Puff – Eh. Mine was hollow.

Raspberry Mousse (I’m guessing) – “It looks like brain matter!” one of them said! Yuck. This was NOT aesthetically pleasing, at all, by far. Much too sweet, tasted like medicine, reminded me of Kool-Aid. I could only tolerate a taste.

Mini Chocolate Cupcake – This was nice for the last bite. Again, dry box cake. But the frosting and crispy sprinkles were nice, just a lot of it.

I took the leftovers (cuz I had a lot of it) home to my family. And even the Huz says: “Did they give you anything to cut the flavors…? Cuz- everything is creamy!?” So I wasn’t the only one! I was sitting there waiting to be wowed and got nothing. You can tell when I have short notes about a food, I am over it and just want to get through this post.

Why I mentioned it didn’t matter if they offered us additional flavors of tea to try later in the service… They kicked us out!! They came around after an hour and a half, looked at their watch, and told us it was time to go cuz they had to clean. We were the last seating! I’m not saying to let us stay well into 5 or 6 o’clock or anything…but dang, can we go pee first?! Haha. I came out the bathroom and all my friends were gone. One with my backpack and one with my leftovers. WHY not offer us EACH a tea flavor? WHY offer us a new flavor to try mid-tea service? IF you’re just gonna kick us out and not even give us enough time to enjoy it anyway?? Frantic to seat us and frantic to get us out. Not what a relaxing tea time is about, RoyalTea.

After we left, we took some pictures right outside of their side gate. Someone came out and asked me about my card I left. (I don’t mention anything about the Tour when I make reservations, and leave a card about our Tour when we pay at the end.) It was the owner, she wanted to know more about the Tour. She was nice. Now, I was told a lot of experience, travel, and thought went into the tea and food here. And in my history with afternoon tea (owning a successful tea company and catering), it didn’t come off that way. I’ve been doing this Tour for a long time and have visited tea houses with less experience, no international experience, but was presented with amazing flavorful teas and food that is top notch. It’s hard to write a post that isn’t exactly positive, after meeting with the owners who are perfectly nice. However, as I always promise, I will give you my FULL and HONEST opinion whenever I visit a place. Hopefully the owners can appreciate constructive criticism and if they are moved to– make changes for the better. If they are confident about what they are offering, then keep it that way. I am just one person who is allowed an opinion. Don’t come for me because I know how to be honest, just sayin… [Real quick Story Time: One time this guy didn’t like what I said and came for me across all our social media accounts. Like this dood LOOKED UP my government name and found me on facebook to message me his complaint about what I said about their Tea Spot.] Don’t do that. That is not necessary, people. If you’re so bothered, that means you are defensive about something. Defensive people know they have things they got to work on. So just work on it and move on. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. Hahahah! But really- there are thousands of people that read this Blog (a thousand lost followers on Instagram but we’re back on there so we’re starting from scratch again! Follow us!), and it is out of my control what they choose to take or not. I love when I get messages from you that say you took a suggestion and were happy you did! And then I get some who not really argue but insist that a place I didn’t like is one they frequent. IT’S OKAY! There is room for all of us! I am just one person who visits tea rooms in the Bay Area and writes about it. As my last IG post on how I like to eat my scones says: DO YOU BOO!

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Spot #28 Revisit:

Muir’s Tea Room

330 S Main Street Sebastopol, CA 95472

https://www.muirstearoomandcafe.com/

Before Pandemic, we would go on a small trip every spring break. I would always ask my husband or kids where they would want to go and what they would want to do. We love to do Reno or Sonoma. It had been waaay toooo long since I had been to Tea (this was before I restarted this Blog and current Tour), and I realized that after doing this for almost 10 years- we have never been to Tea together, the 4 of us!? So I chose this year. And instead of doing one big thing, we opted for enjoying lots of little things. After a week of eating out and mini outings, we ended with a bang and Mom took everyone to Tea. Not just any Tea, but my all-time favorite Tea Spot! (read my original review of Muir’s here) I wasn’t nervous to bring them…but maybe was a tiny bit apprehensive. I mean, we were using our spring break on something I liked. And I’m not usually one to insert my wants…I’m always asking everyone else!! But it was so cute. Before leaving for our hour and a half road trip, my husband yells through the house “What do I wear to Tea?!” Hahah. That softened my anxiety right up!

Another cool thing to mention: when I got back on Instagram, Muir’s followed us! I was such a fangirl about it too. The owner’s daughter takes care of their social media, and her + I have been chatting through DM. Sweet girl. They told me to let them know when I was coming back, so essentially the Blog was invited! 😉 She even went out of her way to share what was around the Tea Room, since she knew my kids would be coming with. And then let me know our puppy was very welcome, since we booked to be seated outside. For those who know me well- I love eating outside!! It’s my favorite. And look how cute:

Of course as per usual, we got a very big welcome. One of the servers came out with such great energy, and got our table ready. (we came early; see, excited I told you) She was so sweet to my dog. (see if you notice our Nova in any photos!) We pulled up a chair next to our table, and she sat nicely next to us the entire time.

First thing she took care of were our tea orders. Lots of delicious choices. About 3-4 from each tea base, which was nice. Let me mention that prior to coming, I tried not to read anything from my previous post about them. I wanted it to be as new of an experience again as possible, and didn’t want to rely on what I already knew about them. So- I was with my 16-year-old son, almost 12-year-old daughter, husband of 20 years, and 4-year-old shih tzu puppy. My son chose first. He was on it! He’s also very loyal. We had told the kids when they were little that it was the RULE that they weren’t allowed to have caffeine til they were 18. (They thought this was EVERY kids’ rule, haha!) They have a bunch of rooibos teas to choose from at home, if they want to have a cuppa. So it was no surprise that he went straight to the column of rooibos’s. He chose their Raspberry Vanilla. Our daughter on the other hand, will live on the edge when we allow her! After commending him for choosing caffeine-free, we said that we’d allow them a caffeinated choice for today. Without hesitation, my daughter decided on a black!! Hahaha. She wanted their Raspberry Chocolate Mint. The Huz went for their Yorkshire Gold. He said he wanted a black, and some of the flavors listed were interesting to him. I, loving maple flavors and nut teas, chose their Maple Walnut. (seriously not even remembering that we ordered this last time!)

Raspberry Vanilla – The raspberry in this was right up front. Not too much vanilla flavor. My son seemed to like it, cuz he didn’t wanna try any of ours!? When I asked him just now, he says “I liked it. It was warm.” Ay-yay-yay! (rolling my eyes)

Raspberry Chocolate Mint – The chocolate smell was very apparent. More mint scented, than flavored. It was kind of flat to me…which was good tho, cuz then it wasn’t as caffeinated for her hehe.

Yorkshire Gold – Very bold! He says ‘had a good clean taste and balance of flavors’.

Maple Walnut – Verrry fragrant! I could taste the green tea base. That maple hits you right away, and then the walnut is in the back. But a perfect blend for sure. It all came back to me at first sip! I remembered we ordered it last time!

Shortly after, the tallest plate of greens were brought to the table. Ben Weatherstaff’s Organic Seasonal Garden Salad – They were NOT stingy with that salad! I’ve never seen a dish packed so high and so stuffed to the brim!? For good reason too, as this salad (yes, just a salad!) was so so good. The owner explained that a local farmer came to have tea one day, and now is their official produce guy! These leaves were so delicate, you guys. I loved the occasional bitterness of some of them, you could totally tell it was organic + fresh. The vinaigrette was so light, my husband said it was “well dressed”. Those cherry tomatoes were so sweet, I felt like I was having tomato candy! As a matter of fact, my daughter + I were fighting over them! She says, “I never enjoyed a salad so much!” I will add that it was also piled high with green onions. My longtime readers know I can’t do a green onion! Haha. However, with that said, they were the most beautifulest green onions!! And, my family ate theirs all up. So I’m certain they were fabulous as well.

I knew the towers were coming and I had to save room, so I asked if I could pack up the rest of my salad. I only ate half. But you better believe I did not forget a single frond of lettuce! (yes, I packed the green onions too…my family loved theirs!) And again, Muir’s outdid themselves with this display. You guys, I couldn’t choose which angle to include so you’re getting all of them!!

So sweet, even after our server explained all the items of our tea service, the owner still came back with a fresh new menu for us to look at + keep. Which I’m using now, to make sure I get all the titles right! I watched my husband + kids as they took it all in. I was so happy to be there with them, and so thrilled for them to enjoy what I love. My 16yo son said “I’m just here for the music!” An eclectic musician (he plays the drums + electric guitar, all learned by ear; tho it helps that I married a drummer!) and old soul, he was lovin all the good music playing in the background!

Mrs. Medlock’s Scone with “cream” and a bottle of preserves – Ugh, you guyys! (sighing emoji face) (also, can you hear my whine?) They just do their scones so RIGHT. It’s like they made em especially for me!! Haha. “Oh she’s coming! Make the scones EXACTLY how she likes em!!” And I didn’t even mention (for my new Readers especially) that this is a plant-based/vegan Tea Spot yall! Okay, so back to these scones… I don’t even know how to write it down!? I make this sound to my family all the time, where I kind of chew and suck between my teeth, to explain my favorite food texture of aaaall-tiiiiiime. Think of the chewiest bread or like fresh mochi or a bouncy Portuguese cake… So this scone has surprise occasional bites of that!! Nice crispy edges and fluffy insides. And it’s plain! Nothing to fight with the cream or preserves, just how I like. And the cute little personal jelly jar is a really nice touch. (cuz I mean, who doesn’t like new cute tiny things?)

Martha’s Traditional Cucumber Finger Sandwich – I looked. (cuz I had to be reminded how it was last time, cuz I didn’t remember it this way…) And last time we came, it was one big thick slice of cucumber. This time! Boyyy! They really know how to work a mandoline. There were like 4 or 5 slices of the thinnest setting of cucumber. SO crunchy. And you know me with my textures- so good this way! Bread was soft, cream was good = winner! Oh yeah, and lined with all those chives!! The family agreed we coulda had a whole tray of these things- each!

Susan Sowerby’s Minted Pea & Radish Tea Sandwich – Whatever herbs were in this made it so intriguing.

Ayah’s Coronation Chickpea Tea Sandwich with Mango Chutney – There was like a thousand island sauce of some sort in this, that I was not mad at. Nice crunchy bits, nutty, bread had a good bite to it.

Colin’s Spring Asparagus with Lemon Pepper Sauce in Puff Pastry – How could you not like anything in puff pastry?! So chewy and flakey. The veg was cooked to perfection. Meaning you weren’t scraping strings of asparagus through your teeth and looking unattractive trying to break that thing apart… (yeah I said it! Haha) You bit down, and it broke off nicely. 100 points! I couldn’t get on board with the sauce, but the fam liked it a lot. I don’t know, it kinda reminded me of Chinese food (which I wasn’t expecting) so it just confused my tastebuds a little. I still ate it all tho!! Hahaha!

Yorkshire Pudding Tart with Onion Gravy – My daughter was laying it on thick with how much she loved this one. I think she was hinting at dibs, if I didn’t want/finish mine! Hehe. Spongey pastry, light mushroom flavor, squishy texture. I think I left her a nibble!

Dickon’s Crispy Choclate Bunny – This was just what I needed. A good thing to add to a tea service. I was almost full, and needed just a little something sweet. The dark chocolate was the right amount of bitter and sweet. And the rice krispies inside were a fun surprise! It wasn’t bound together, they were kind of free flowing in there…so you bit into it and cereal just pops in your mouth!? So fun!

Mistress Mary’s Caraway Shortbread – I couldn’t possibly eat another thing. Oh yeah, I don’t usually waste tummy space with the fruit that’s put on the tiers. But these were just calling out to me! And it was really refreshing to have watermelon, grapes, blueberries, and blackberries in between bites of my savories. My dog liked em too! (just the watermelon + blueberries) Okay, so this shortbread… I was full, but I HAD to take a bite. Honestly, this was a big reason why we were down here!! Since September of 2018, I had been raving to my husband about Muir’s shortbread! (he loves him some shortbread) And I never took him back to try any. So this was almost 5 years in the making, long-awaited. I didn’t read the menu and took a bite. What are these?! Caraway seeds?? Dood, caraway seeds? Who puts caraway seeds in shortbread? MUIR’S! And when I tell you it’s the most incredible flavor of shortbread!!?! Yall have to come try for yourself. Don’t wait 5 years!! Trust.

Misselthwaite Manor West Yorkshire Rhubarb Layer Cake – I didn’t taste this til I got home. Me, having it: “Hm, I don’t know if I like it…” [Puts it away] [Opens it back up] [Takes another bite] [Puts it away and tells the fam they can have it] [Comes back to it later to try it again] [Proceeds to finish it all by herself] (covering eyes monkey emoji here) My husband said it was moist + dense, and he wasn’t wrong! That’s exactly how I would describe it. It was such a chewy sticky piece of cake and you just kept wanting more to understand it!? Obviously, from my behavior above. Honestly, I wish I had more now! Hahaha!

The customer service here is unmatched. If you want a good time having afternoon tea, come here. The owner came out several times- asking how we were doing, showing an interest in who we were, even bringing Nova dog treats. Even her daughter did too! And she was busy making all of this tasty, gorgeous food in the back!! It’s not just a business to them. You can tell they really care about their consumers + patrons. It was a full house that day, and they were short-staffed as 2 of their employees were exposed to covid (thank you for keeping us safe, Muir’s!). Sitting outside by the door, we saw everyone going in and everyone going out. And EVERYONE was in a happy + relaxed mood! I know this Spot isn’t exactly “Bay Area”…but wherever you are, make the trip. I promise it will be worth your while!

All Muir’s Tea Room related posts:

Spot #28 :: Muir’s Tea Room

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Our 30th Spot:

The St. Regis

125 3rd Street San Francisco, CA 94103

www.marriott.com

Ahh, FINALLY!! We’ve been trying to get to this place for years! This was Spot 30 for some years [okay I had to look]; since 2017, so since 6 years ago! For whatever reasons we never got to go, I was so relieved to have made a reservation and have it locked in our calendar. Another reason that made this Tea so special- I got to have one-on-one time with thee girlfriend (that you all should THANK!!) that encouraged me to start this Blog in the first place! So so special.

I took no photos of the interior. There were a lot of people, and we were excited to get to our seats. Just more element of surprise to add to your excitement when you go visit! (high-five)

Super cute, right?

When you sit, there’s a box of their offered teas waiting for you. Gorgeous bottles, reminded me of mom’s perfume. We took time to smell each of them, and because we’re in sync* we were both interested in the 2 same blends. She ordered one and I ordered the other, then we’d plan to taste/have both. Yay!

*I put the asterisk there because I wanted to take a moment to talk about this particular girlfriend. (I have a full blog post planned for how the Blog came to be, so that’s not this story) We’ve known each other well over 10 years. I was there for her wedding… Met her dog when he was a puppy… And when I was pregnant with my daughter, guess who was waiting for my dr. when I was done with my appointment? Here she came! Before she knew what she was even having, she says to me “I’m having your daughter’s best friend.” (wipe your tears, I’ll give you a minute) And sure enough, our girls stuck together like peanut butter + jelly. 🙂

Okay, back to tea…

She loves cherry blossoms (Happy Sakura Season!), so it was inevitable that she’d choose their Cherry Blossom green tea. For me, what caught my nose’s attention was their St. Regis Blend. I was searching all over the place, and I realized that in all my excitement- I didn’t even take a picture of the tea yall. Haha!

So the St. Regis reminded me a lot of Harney & Sons Paris tea, but their blackberry or black currant was very upfront. The Cherry Blossom, really perfumy, again reminded me of Harney & Sons Cherry Blossom tea. However, this one was much more creamy. Really very good teas here. Our server came to us a couple of times, asking if we wanted to switch out our pots and try something new. But we were so happy with our choices, we just stuck to them!

A tower so pretty I had to share 3 shots of it from 3 different angles! (oh look, there’s the tea) She also offered us some champagne, and came around to refill if need be (or want be haha). Neither of us were drinkers. I hadn’t had any alcohol for about 7 or 8 years, health reasons. But if you ask me what kind I would have, I could name a couple from each type in a heartbeat! (hard liquor: Henny or Remy; wine: Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc or Pacific Rim Riesling; beer: Fosters Bitter, any porter, or a good ol’ Red Stripe or Session) Howweverrr- when someone at the St. Regis offers you champagne, you take the champagne! She had a few good sips of hers, and I had a few of mine. (sip for me = lets the champagne touch your lips, then lick them. Hahah!!) She gave us a Lallier R. 018, very grapey.

Luxardo Cherry Citrus Scone (cara cara orange zest, crystal sugar) – That scone was amazing. Dramatically crunchy outside. Don’t know what those honkin sugar crystals were, but they were so fun to crunch! And there was something ‘nutty’ in there for sure.

Fra’mani Rosemary Ham Tea Sandwich (rye bread, whole grain dijon mustard, kewpie) – I knew there was something different about this sandwich before I looked it up on the menu… There’s kewpie in it!! Interesting. I love kewpie. But it was a really interesting choice for this sandwich. Not sure how I felt about it here. The ham had a good bite to it. Not too thick, where you can’t bite it in two. And I love me some dijon mustard, so that stuff I couldn’t get enough of. The bread was really dry tho. Couldn’t tell if it had been out for a while before it got to us, or if it was just us taking too long to get to it!?

Caviar Profiterole (sturgeon caviar, egg) – [P.S. I’m really proud of this picture! I surprised myself at how good it turned out!? Look at all those delicious shiny highlights of each tiny egg!!] Okay so- neither of us had ever had caviar before!!?! This was a high point for us. Since my friend had their vegetarian options, her tea service didn’t come with any…but I gave her a butterknife tip’s worth of some. After both having some: eh, it was okay! Hehe. Uneventful + underwhelming. We think because it had been so talked up or we’ve seen how people pay top dollar for this stuff, we thought it was gonna be some kind of magical experience. I fully expected for each little ball of fish egg to explode this magnificent liqueur in my mouth. No magic. But it was still fun to try, and I am glad I can finally say now at 42 that I have had caviar!! Win! The egg was just okay for me too, too oniony.

Brioche (mary’s chicken, red grapes, tarragon) – It had some type of herb (no, not the tarragon) that made you go “hm what is that?” Like a nutmeg of some sort, but not nutmeg hahah. And the bread to filling ratio was not it. Too much bread, not enough chicken salad.

Laura Chenel Goat Cheese Toast (hot house cucumber, radish) – The cream was tart. Didn’t realize it was goat cheese before I looked at the menu again. Cucumbers were crunchy. Bread was very dry + crispy. Again, maybe because we didn’t get to it during its prime…

Blueberry Cake (royal icing, almonds) – So cute. But this one tasted artificial to me. The icing was hard, like Pop-Tarts frosting. And my girlfriend said she couldn’t get the coconut flakes out her mouth! I only took a bite of that one…

Rose Macaron (lychee, white chocolate) – Aside from it being so tall you didn’t know how to attack it (especially for someone with a small mouth like me), there was everything to love about this macaron. Not a fan of the red dye no. 4 tho. And I don’t even like raspberries!! However, the tart of that raspberry with the milkiness of that cream THEN the rose + lychee together!? Yass girrl. (clapping hand emoji) I think I was moaning + making out with that macaron. My poor friend.

So that was the last thing I ate there. I didn’t have room for the last 2 sweets. But they packed it up and gave us each a bag for our to-go treats. I did devour them late that night tho, so let me share my notes with you for those…

Caramel Hazelnut Tart (sable, chocolate ganache) – This was chocolate overkill for me. But I’m happy to say that I ate gold!! Oh and the pastry was nice too.

This stunning work of art was a bonus sweet. This little thing is what prompted strangers to stop at our table a gawk at our food for a minute. Another first for me: I have never had anything covered in a mirror glaze. That agar agar or gelatin is fun! (you should know by now, me with textures) It had pineapple bits and/or marmalade in the filling, all on top of a really good chocolate cracker. Don’t tell anyone- but I scraped the to-go box for that leftover jello glaze!

For as long as we waited to come here, I had a really good time. Was it mostly because of my friend? Yeah. (wink to my girl) Could I have had those teas at home, after buying them from Target? Yeah. But I won’t complain cuz some places miss it in the tea department. Was I happy to have champagne lip gloss, try caviar for the first time, eat gold, and scrape mirror glaze off a box like a crackhead? Well, yeah! It was a must-experience for sure. You should definitely try it once! Take your girlfriends and tell us how yall liked it k!?

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(sigh) I already had a Tea booked for this month. But thenn, I found out that the Four Seasons was offering an Afternoon Tea- but just in March!! (sweat bead emoji) I had to hurry up and collect my girls and get us in there! Thankfully, all but one of my OG’s were able to come. (Don’t feel bad for that one, cuz her + I were booked for this month’s already hehe) Okay so here’s the thing tho. (deep breath) (I have a lot of parentheses going on here huh) My Tea I scheduled for March was on the 18th. I had an already booked-to-capacity month, but could be flexible for some days. I don’t know whyyy, but I threw out the 17th as an option. And. It just so happened. That my girls. Were ALL available on the 17th!! Ayyy! This is the very first time, in the almost 10 years of doing this, that I’d be doing a back-to-back Tea! I guess there’s a first for everything right. And this isn’t a bad thing at all. Let’s do it! I was so happy to get a reservation. Not sure why it was only being offered in March…but yo girl, parTEA with me, was gonna be in the houuuuse!! (do people say ‘in the house’ still?) I have to deliver my thoughts to you guys right?! I mean, just in case they hang out longer…you all would want to know if you should make the trip too right? As always, I got you.

Four Seasons

2050 University Avenue East Palo Alto, CA 94303

www.fourseasons.com

Let me first say, that aside from a few zoom tea parties during Pandemic, this is the first we’ll have all been together since. So already, just seeing where we were going to sit, we were already so ecstatic + excited for WHATEVER was to come. Lots of whining and picture taking, hehe. Oh! And we met a friend!! (Hey girl!) She was having tea there at a table next to us. After saying she was there alone, I blurted out “no you’re not!” and we included her in our parTEA the entire duration. She’s cool people, her + her husband joined later. Welcome her yall!

We couldn’t get enough of those rose-folded napkins. (told you)

The place wasn’t huge. I took one or two pictures of the interior, cuz I wanted to get back to my sisters. But check it out, cute right?

I’ll tell you more about this little tea bar situation in a minute.

The sweetest girl came to greet us. She explained the menu, what we had to pick out for teas, we all said ‘thank you’, then she walked away. We THOUGHT we all had to agree on what teas to have together, so the 4 of us deliberated. When she came back and asked us what we would be having, almost in unison we recited our request. When she turned to the other girl, were like- “OHH! We each get to pick??” We didn’t get it at first!? Hehe. The menu was kind of confusing, but we finally got it. So if you get there: what they have under each “H” word are their blends. You can pick one or combine 2 of those. They also have classic teas listed. While we were deciding, she was bringing us containers filled with the blends for us to smell from that tea bar I showed you. I’m familiar with that process, other tea houses do that. My OCD doesn’t like it (breathing in tea other people breathed on), but I participated this time as I was fully immersed in the event. You get two flavors of tea to have with your service. I’ll tell you my choices, and share what it says on their menu.

For my first cup, I picked their Harmony blend (green rooibos, organic fennel seed, organic hibiscus, chrysanthemum blossoms, rose petal, organic shatavari, organic lavender). For my longtime readers, you know rooibos is my favorite base. And then the flavor profile is what got me: “creamy, floral and round”. Raise your hand if you knew I was a creamy girl?!

My second selection was a suggestion from our dear server. She said I should try their Earl Grey Creme. I’m not an earl grey usually, but (again with the cream) I do love me a creamy one.

So after she took our tea orders, she stepped away and a minute later I saw her at the tea bar. (huge eyes emoji) She was creating our teas FROM that tea bar! (two huge eyes emojis) She was preparing what we were going to CONSUME from all those containers that we just exhaled in. (Hahah, I can’t with my word choices sometimes!) I tried my best not to care, and instead asked if I could take pictures of what she was doing! I told you, I was committed yall. (you’re welcome, haha)

So, we did not expect a full ceremony!? It was so cool! It didn’t involve any beliefs or anything spiritistic like that, more of a beautiful and relaxed process. I’m sure I’ll be posting videos of it on our Instagram… (Follow us! @parTEAwithmeBlog) But, after she brought each of our tea blends, she then started to prepare each of our cups. Let’s talk about those cups for a minute… They were more like mugs. Asian mugs. So we missed the cutesie vintage floral teacups + saucers. Okay, so… She packs each of our drawstring tea bags with each of our blends. (Again, having to silence the OCD) She had to do 8 for our table, mmkay guys, EIGHT!! Ugh, sweet girl. And she was so patient cuz each of us wanted to take pics + videos of EACH (ay-yay-yay) filled bag! Haha. And she would even turn what she was doing toward the camera, just love her. THENN, she would pour our cups mugs about halfway with hot water coming out of the tiniest, daintiest spout of their teapots. The poor girl’s back!! Again, eight times. We were so enthralled with every move she made, NO ONE was drinking their teas yet! Hahaha. We patiently waited for each of our girls’ 2 cups to be filled, before trying. By the time I took my first sip, my tea was just warm yall. Haha.

My Harmony blend was very floral, spa-like. Light. I could have steeped it longer, but I had so much going on! (more sweat bead emojis!) I was getting reacquainted with all that’s involved for a ‘Working Tea’ is what I call it. Getting all my shots on a clean plate. Which means I’m putting each piece on my plate, one by one, taking their photos, putting it back on the tier…then doing it again with the next sweet or savory. I was overwhelmed with photos and note-taking and enjoying my girls…but I was LOVING every moment. I wish I could tell you more about this tea. But the combination was complex + it just worked, made you want to keep sipping to understand it.

Okay now, my Earl Grey Creme. (sigh) I steeped it longer than I should have, BUT I wasn’t mad at it. Again, by the time I’d had it, it was just warm. Not the 1 degree higher than it’s supposed to be that I like my tea at. But this. Oh this blend. Whatever they did with this one… I could picture a mad tea scientist in the back room, more sweat bea- okay, no more sweat beads! But just creating this magnificent blend!! I’m not a big earl grey fan (I said that already huh), however I know a good creamy earl grey. I order my favorite one all the way from Reno, and always make sure to have this in stock at my house at all times. Was fun to be open to trying another! But when I tell you this one exceeded that blend that I’m a die hard loyal to boyy! I wanted to take my used tea bag home to-go. Period.

Here came the tiers!

I don’t like to look at the menu too much, cuz I love the element of surprise. I love looking forward to things! (Fun Fact: I will stop a movie or tv show in the middle of a really good cliffhanger, so I can set myself up for excitement when I come back to it next! #NerdAlert, I know.) So it was super gratifying to see all these interesting different-sized creations.

Long-timers know I always go for my scone first. Today was no different.

It was a plain scone, nice crunchy outsides with fluffy insides. Could have used some salt. The yuzu jam was new. I’m used to the strawberry or raspberry that’s usually put out. But this one had a good bite to it, the pieces of rind. Reminded me of marmalade. And their devonshire cream was real smooth. Everything together made complete bites of goodness.

Brokaw Avocado (Iberico ham, Persian cucumber, meyer lemon, sourdough, pickled onion) – I wanna cry looking at this picture…because I miss this so much! (haha) This was a one-biter that left me saying “ohmygosh” with every chew until it was done. (and I never say “ohmygosh”) Those flavors together were SEAMLESS. And the textures! Raise your hand if you knew I love food texture?! Hehe. The chewiness of the ham, crisp of the sourdough, crunch of the cucumber, smoosh of the avo = in Chandler’s words “perfection”.

Dried Tomato Crostini (Skyhill goat cheese, toasted pine nuts, aged balsamic) – I can’t have pine nuts (allergic to pesto) (I know, what kind of Italian am I?) so I took those off, but I’m sure it would have added a-whole-nother level to this. Kinda hard to pick up. I felt like I wouldn’t’ve been cute eating this on a first date! And the crostini was so sharp, I probably cut my mouth in a few places. BUT… It lasted like they just churned that goat cheese this morning! (or whatever you do that makes goat cheese haha) It was the freshest, unblemished goat cheese I have ever had. Those tomatoes were like having tomato gum!! It was so fun! The grill or roast or drying turned their flavor up quite a few levels. And the oil (altho I felt like I had some dripping down my chin, cuz there was so much of it), I could have had a bowl of. Such an amazing savory, this one.

Smoked Salmon (labneh, focaccia crostini, vanilla oil, caper berries, truffle honey) – I have a small mouth, so this was 2 bites for me. Um, exquisite! That truffle honey was everything; I didn’t even know there was such a thing?! And that piece of dill packed such a nice note at the end.

Mini Lobster Roll (micro celery, fennel tops, turmeric oil) – I was hearing all about this lobster roll at the table before I got to it. Even our girl next to us loved that one. Lobster was steamed to perfection, nice chewy bites. A little too much onion flavor for me. Bread had a nice bounce to it. Another piece that wasn’t cute to eat tho, hehe.

Raspberry Financier – This was the cutest thing ever. The tiniest loaf, SO STINKIN CUTE. My friend + I imagined the cute wittle molds they used, and the tiny amounts of batter they had to pour in each! Hehe. So cute, so cute, I can’t handle. It was wheatlike. Tasted like a madeleine. Did this have Cream of Wheat in it or something? It wasn’t bad, intriguing.

Mini Match Tiramisu – So light! This thing was so light. A lot of cream. Would have liked to have more cake. Light matcha flavor, nice. Those ladyfingers were soaked the right amount.

Earl Grey Macaron – I never think to order or buy macarons. But if I’m offered one, I’ll take one. But I tell you- each time I have one, every time, I think to myself: why don’t I eat these more? Same story, different macaron. Yummy! Nice hard shell, chewiest insides, excellent filling.

You guys- I finished my plate. I sat there, reminiscing with my girlfriends, talking with our new friend, getting to know our server (she was the absolute sweetest), sipping + alternating between my two beautifully blended teas, taking bite after (sometimes messy) bite of these masterpieces of food, taking my notes…and I finished!? Every single morsal. I don’t usually finish, as there is so much to try and photograph and write down and experience- that I end up leaving bites of stuff all over the place (I really should post some of my old behind-the-scenes plates haha) because they weren’t that good or I got too full etc. But this tea was so exceptionally curated that I didn’t want to leave anything behind!! And I’m a little sad right now! For two reasons: (1) cuz I’m done writing this blog post and reliving it, and (2) cuz I’m not sure if they will be offering this menu after March. Wahh! Yall still have a good 2-weeks to make it in there!! If you do, please let us know how you liked it in the comments!

Thank you Four Seasons for welcoming parTEA with me back to our Afternoon Tea groove!! The girls + I couldn’t get enough of our experience. We have lots of photos and videos and memories from this day. (We actually extended our Moms Day/Night Out and kept the party going til the very end of the night! Thanks husbands!) One more review still for March, and can’t wait to try all these new places soon! Honestly, I can’t get there fast enough. (last sweat bead emoji)

A SPECIAL THANK YOU to all you new Readers/Followers/Tea Lovers!! I see you. And an EXTRA SPECIAL THANK YOU to those that have donated. I can’t even begin to express what that means to me. I never thought this Blog would become an official “job” (or source of income for me + my family; cuz honestly this never feels like “work”), but I am happy to be here. I love to write. I know, I know, I write how I talk. Maybe not perfect grammar or how you would say or explain something, but this has always been a joy of mine. I am a published author and have written a manuscript, BUT this really is what gives me the most pleasure. So thank you! Thank you ALL OF YOU for reading and allowing me to share my brutally honest and authentic impressions of these tea places! It’s ALL LOVE.

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So. There’s this girl. I really like her. We were introduced a long time ago by a mutual friend, as our sons were around the same age. Our families did things together here + there…basketball, Beach Days, etc. But in the middle of the pandemic, we moved closer to where they were at so we were seeing more of them. Even our kids had standing zoom meetings together every Friday night. It was nice!

I wanted to give her her due credit (cuz I always do that) because around the same time I was re-situating this Blog, she asked me on a Tea Date. She DM’d me a reel of this cool looking place and says: “Let’s go!” It was the middle of winter and I wasn’t really out + about yet. So we planned for spring. (okay, late winter haha)

“Are you gonna review it?”, she asked.

“IIII don’t knoww…”, I said, “it’s not English/Victorian tea… My Blog really focuses on tea like that.” But I figured- if the menu or website is highlighting, featuring, or offering -AFTERNOON TEA- then yall wanna know about it right?? Let’s do it! (winking) I got you guys.

So thank you to this girl (we don’t have a blog nickname for her yet), for kickstarting my going back to trying new tea places and writing about it, cuz- you guys are in for a new ride!! (more winking)

iChina Restaurant

2855 Stevens Creek Boulevard Santa Clara, CA 95050

http://www.ichinarestaurant.com

I thought I’d never heard of this place before. But looking for something on my Pinterest, I discovered that I had pinned this place to visit a long time ago!? Any pic or instagram post you see of this place makes it look like a night club!! It looks huge, high class, and like you have to make sure you have your lashes done, Prada dress, Dior shoes, and Fendi bag in tow. (just kidding I don’t know all the brands cuz I never wear them!? Do they even make Dior shoes?? Haha) But I WAS freaking out on what to wear cuz not only have I not really gone out out in the last 3 years…but, I felt like this place definitely had a “look” that you were supposed to follow. However, I will always be true to my comfy roots, so I just wore a black sweater dress, my knee-high boots, and my signature: baseball cap. This’ll do.

When we got there, it was so quiet. “Where’s the DJ?!” It looked like an airport or hotel lobby. And it was SMALL!! There was a door by this table we were walking towards, and my friend goes (she told me this later) “Is The Experience through here?” HAhahah. It looked nooothing like all the posts lead you to believe it does. While still catching up to our shock, we were kinda relieved that it wasn’t as hyped up as they want you to think it is. It has cool surroundings, fun things to look at…but don’t feel like you have to do it up in the Chanel. (there goes another brand name) I didn’t take tons of pictures of the interior. (1) I don’t want to take that element of surprise from you, for this Spot in particular. And (2) there really wasn’t much to take pictures of, in my opinion.

The menu was confusing to us. There’s a pastry offering, teas listed, then the dim sum is also additional. We thought we were going to pay like $150.00 each for this meal. When I confirmed with the server that we would both be getting the pastries, she looked a little nervous and then said something about having to check in the back first… WE THOUGHT we BOTH had to order the pastry offering which (and I don’t usually mention prices on here) was already $50, but she explained that it was a 2-person situation. Okay. Whew! So that was covered. Now for the teas… They offer 8 types. My friend wanted help with her selection. My first question is always: “Do you like fruity or creamy?” She said creamy. Okay, to the Blacks! They had 2 black teas, and I recommended the one with chocolate for her. I, on the other hand, immediately honed in on the word “lychee” and chose their oolong. Teas, done! Now for the dim sum… More to read. Another word was highlighted for me on their menu: LOTUS!!! Aaanytime that’s on a menu, I’m ordering it. Thankfully my friend wanted to try too. We also saw a duck + pumpkin something. And at first we were gonna get just that, but we opted for a platter that included it with two other things.

As soon as we placed our order, she was already back at our table. (think the butler in Mr. Deeds) Here she came with our teas. They couldn’t possibly be ready already!? She sets down 2 teapots with the infuser strainers full of wet leaves in a tiny saucer on the side, and then walks away. Had I not been The Tea Lady that I am- we wouldn’t know what to do with that!? (side eye) I had explained to my girl that she left that there for us so we could steep longer if we prefer. And good thing she did.

Mi Lan Xiang (Phoenix Oolong | Guangdong – lychee | honey | floral) – I copied what it says on the menu. I’m not gonna be much help here. Couldn’t taste the lychee, couldn’t taste the honey, couldn’t taste the floral. Couldn’t even taste the oolong! It definitely wasn’t steeped long enough. We put the basket back in the pot and left it there.

Jin Jun Mei (Black Te | Fujian – cacao nibs | floral | smoke) – Again, nothing to really write about here cuz there wasn’t any flavor!? They didn’t steep it enough, so we dropped that basket in that one back in too.

Here came the lotus and dim sum. So I don’t know what I was thinking…but I was NOT thinking that they were gonna come with ONE of each of the dim sum things!? I don’t know. You hear platter, you think: “platter” of chicken wings, “platter” of nachos, “platter” of potato wedges. I don’t think a PLATTER means 1 each of smaller than a palm-size of 3 different things.

Okay, so- this Lotus and Asparagus plate was wonderful. The base was a very basic Chinese flavor, but what made this dish was how each vegetable was cooked to perfection. Both had the right crunch and texture.

I really wiiiiiiiiiish I put something in the shot to show you how big (or how small) these were, for comparison. (same goes for the pastries that are coming up next) We had to cut these in half to try each of them.

Crispy Wagyu Puff (that black roly poly looking one) – Whyy oh whyyyy would you make a FOOD that looks like a roly poly thooo!!?! (in my whiny voice) Like, are you trying to be funny? (I LOL’d) It didn’t look appealing AT ALL. But I still tried it. It was slightly sweetened, tasted like lap chiong (Chinese sausage). The pastry was light + fluffy, not too salty.

Bbq Berkshire Pork Bun (the one in the middle, with the decoration on top) – This one was intriguing. The pastry was sweet (again), a little chewy, a little gritty…I really liked that texture. Couldn’t even remember anything about the filling.

Roasted Duck & Pumpkin Dumpling (the cutie one that looks like a pumpkin) – Kinda bland, but the mochi pastry was fun! Tho, the filling was kinda gooey. It reminded me of innards, like ear or something. And it gave an aftertaste, and not a good one.

*Let me interrupt this food portion to say that the 2nd pours of the tea for me weren’t any better. Even after a longer steep, there was NO flavor whatsoever. Either it was really low-quality tea, or they didn’t have good temperature to start with. My friend ordered their Jasmine as well (Dragon Pearl Jasmine Green), and again: nothing. Very fragrant, but didn’t transfer in the tea. I thought it tasted like bath soaps. She said it was “just like hot water with a little bit of jasmine flavor.” The more I thought of it- what a WASTE of good tea if they don’t know how to properly steep it and serve it to their guests! Sorry Red Blossom Tea Company…

Now for this tower that they’re known for.

It’s not that exquisite in real life. I don’t know if they put glitter filters on those reels, but my son in fact said he thought this looked like it was from the Dollar Store haha! There’s 10 items on this thing, and I have notes for all of them. I’m trying to figure what’s the best way to share cuz I’ve been writing for some time now, and I just don’t have the energy guyyys!! I took pictures of each of them. Thankful I had my awesome sidekick/Assistant with me cuz we made a good team! I kept one plate clean, and saved it for my photo shoot backdrop ha! Mind you, we had to once again cut these in half in order for each of us to try them. They’re like half a palm size.

Plain Scone – Very fluffy + doughy. Had more cream than preserves, I didn’t like that ratio. Mild flavor, eh.

Raisin Scone – Same as above. But with raisins.

Pineapple Calamansi – This one I liked. It was very refreshing and had little chunks of pineapple in it. The cream had a nice texture and the pastry had a good crunch.

Jasmine Peach Macaron – So this said jasmine peach, buut doesn’t it look like chocolate to you guys? It sure tasted like chocolate. And no jasmine or peach to be found. Whatever flavor it was, it was a good macaron. Textbook chewy shell, smooth filling. What’s not to like? Resemblant of a snickers to me.

Tea Bread (citrusy madeleine) – This was labled as “tea bread” on their menu, but clearly was a madeleine. This tasted like the smell of your auntie’s house, like laundry detergent or something. Also, moist.

Tea Bread (raspberry madeleine) – Niice crispy edges! But again, nothing spectacular. Another baker friend of mine has been making us madeleines from scratch for years, and hers tastes waay better.

Raspberry Rose Lychee – This one was very pungent. In my notes I wrote ‘taste like when you first walk into a nice area thrift store’. Haha. (shrugging emoji) Pastry was super crunchy. My friend said it was “bitter”.

Malted Milk Chocolate Rice – (I think, I wasn’t really paying attention when she said what each thing was!) Either way, this one was good! Rich, had a good mouthfeel.

Salted Cashew Choux – Whatever this was, it was yummy! It had an airy crumbly outside, and deflated inside. Nice chew, nice salt. I really liked the texture and crunch. (if you don’t remember from previous posts, I’m a textures girl!)

Black Sesame Yuzu – (I think, this one is the other one we weren’t sure about) This tasted like a ferrero rochet but bland.

Yay! (sighhh) We made it! I think that’s how we felt as we were trying these too. Not that we were full, but it was just a lot to try. And nothing really stood out to me. I liked that citrus tart. And the raspberry and chocolate ones, I took bites of those together. I was like Remy from Ratatouille! To me, that says a lot about your meal if I had to mix 2 things together in order to make something taste good. (meh emoji) It’s really hard for me to accept that this place had Michelin-star chefs. Everything was rather bland! And don’t let me get started on the tea again. Oh. Yeah. About that tea…

I saved this part for last, cuz well- it’s DISGUSTING. Look first, and then we’ll talk. And no, I’m not gonna shrink the photo size cuz I think the world needs to know about this:

Do you see what I see? There’s a difference between STAINED and FILTHY (other synonyms: unclean, foul, nasty, unsanitary, unhygienic). These are pictures from ALL THREE teapots they served us with. That means, this spout is on ALL of them. How do Michelin chefs serve stuff in this?? I know the difference mmkay! I have thrifted and borrowed teapots before. You CAN clean this off!! There is no good reason you should be serving tea in teapots that look like this. NONE. I fully intend to speak with their management team there (no, I’m not Karen’ing) to let them know that this is not okay! They need to know that this is how they are serving tea. YOU need to know that this is how they are serving tea!

[UPDATE – On March 6, the Assistant General Manager replied to my email and thanked me for my feedback + photos. He assured me that they purchased the equipment needed to clean and sanitize all of their teaware, and that their staff has since been trained and instructed on how to clean after every usage. Then, sincerely apologized. If this knowledge helps you…]

Despite the mediocre food and pleasantly surprised-ness of the chill vibe in there, I had a blast with my new friend! She made this tea stop so much fun, we made our own Experience mmkaay!! Ha! Should you go there? I wouldn’t. We didn’t pay $150.00 each, but I wouldn’t wanna pay even $50.00 each for the food + tea we had that day. To be fair, like her + I discussed, they are not a Tea House or Tea Room. They offer Afternoon Tea, BUT the dim sum is really their focus. Not the tea, not the pastries. If you are offering Afternoon Tea, it shouldn’t be less quality than your main focus. To my loyal + lovely Readers, save your money and visit any of the other Top 5-10 Tea Spots I have listed in my raTEAngs.

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Our 29th Spot:

Tudor Rose English Tea Room

733 4th Street  Santa Rosa, CA 95404

http://www.tudorrosetearoom.com

 

 

[Most photos taken on my old iPhone 6, a few from my friend’s iPhone X, and one from other gf’s Samsung.  Not about that DSLR-Life at the moment.]

 

 

I don’t ever go to Santa Rosa, so we really didn’t know what was out that way.  As a matter of fact, we live almost 2-hours away.  I know this isn’t technically “Bay Area”, but it was within my 2-hour margin of travel-  so we visited.

We kept passing by all these great architectural homes, and I was getting excited that the tea room would be in one of them!  (For those curious-  I don’t like to look up too much about the Spots we visit, cuz I don’t want to have an opinion before I even get there AND I enjoy the element of surprise.)  Wheeen I saw us rolling into a busy part of town, I knew my dream wasn’t likely.  THEN, when I saw the outside of it…I already felt like it was over.  “It had a (air quotes) facility-type door??  Ew.”  I didn’t give up just yet.

I was trying to get my outside shot, and my girlfriends already walked inside…so I didn’t get the initial greeting.  But as we were seated, I already didn’t like the service.  She just wasn’t that ‘warm tea party’ kind of warm, you know?  Matter of fact, fake smile.  (side eye)  And by the way, IT WAS DARK.  Like-  I didn’t understand if I was at a night club or a tea party?  Just wait, you’ll see in my darkest photos ever in life.

I guess all 4 of us were in a rooibos-state-of-mind (woo-hoo!  my favorite!), cuz we all ordered red bush-based teas.  Chocolate Orange, Mango, Coconut Cream Rooibos, and Pumpkin and Cream.  I’m not even gonna give them the dignity of reviewing them individually, and just say they all lacked depth of flavor and were extremely artificially enhanced…according to my palate.  [For our new visitors (and sure, for our loyal returning readers as well): keep in mind this is our 29th tea house visited AND I have owned a boutique tea company where I have created exclusive gourmet teas.  So, my remarks come with experience…is all I’m trying to say.  I know what I like, and mos def know what I don’t like.  Mmkaay.]  Oh yeah-  and please NEVER rush to put tea pots on our table then tell us we need to wait for them to steep!!!  (hot air blowing out of nose emoji here)  Who does that??  They should have had them properly steeped, then brought them out.  Minus 100-points for that, Steve.

They had E-LEV-EN levels of tea service.  (rolling my eyes)  Which are entirely too many, if you ask me.  And they were all so different!?  All of us wanted something from one level, but wanted to substitute another thing from another level.  It was confusing and annoying.

[Okay, so…I triiiied to edit these ultra dark pictures that I took of each individual item served.  But, it just didn’t work out.  I’m telling you guys, it was soooo dark in there!!?!]

Since I couldn’t include the shots of the food, I’m just gonna put my notes here and call it a day.  I am SO DONE with this place tho!!

Split Pea + Curry Soup – nobody told you to make that combo, 2 entirely separate things that should never be put together, bland, chunky, worst baby food ever, barely took half a spoon bite

Lemon Vanilla Scone – no it’s not, had NO kind of lemon OR vanilla flavor in there, very bready, fluffy insides, crunchy outsides; came with this RIDICULOUS trying-to-be-too-cute what she called “clotted cream” but I KNOW FO SHO wasn’t; and they don’t offer preserves; was later used as my palate cleanser

Cucumber Tea Sandwich – a lot of dry bread, a lot of thick cream

Egg Salad Tea Sandwich – dry, tastes like old egg, no salt, it was really gritty, worst egg salad I’ve had from any Tea Spot

Hummus + Green Onion Tea Sandwich – my SIL spit it out after the first bite!!; yall know I HATE green onions so I took a tiny bite, don’t even know how to explain that one, dry, again no salt

Chicken Salad + Cranberry Tea Sandwich – okay, chunky, the only thing that was decent enough to finish

Veggie Pastie – tastes like mushy frozen vegetables that were chewed and spat out, and NO SALT

Mushroom + Onion Tart – too chewy, took me forever to chew and swallow, blue cheese tasted like throw up

Sausage Roll – basic

It was only after I was almost done with the single bites from each item that I discovered-  THEY USE FAKE FLOWERS ON THE TIER!!?!!!?!!!?!  That is not hygienic at all guys!!  Come on!!  Really??  Do you WASH and SANITIZE every single flower you use on each tier???  I don’t even want to go there and think of what kind of OTHER HANDS and LICKED FINGERS were fiddling with the flower that was touching the food I put in my mouth.  GROSS, TUDOR ROSE!!

I’m done.

FYI-  of the 29 Spots we’ve been to, they are number 28!!!  Yes, even after the dirty Chinese tea place.

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