STORY TIME: I was trying to think of where to start this, and realized it stems as far back as our wedding day in January 2003. The plan was to be wed surrounded by ocean views at my dream location: The Lighthouse Hotel in Pacifica. The intimate 25-people ceremony we initially wanted was vetoed by our grandiose narc bio moms, so we needed more space to accommodate their egos. Plan B – Have a beach wedding on our favorite beach in HMB. Since January is winter and beaches are outdoor, that too was out of the question. We just wanted to be married… We gave in and allowed our mothers to have the show they both needed, 300+ people later, nowhere near a beach.

We wanted to do a big 10 Year. But the way events in our life worked, it was going to have to be a big 11th hehe. Again, my dream of that Lighthouse Hotel filled my headspace. It was 2012 and I got to work with brainstorming and planning. I started a Pinterest Board. “Farmhouse decor” wasn’t yet so big at the time, so I wasn’t really able to find my vision on the internet. I just pictured lots of white linen, burlap table runners, and lots + lots of mason jars!! It was going to be clean + minimal, with a touch of farmhouse, shabby chic, and beachy elements. I love me a good mismatchy moment. So I wasn’t gonna just BUY uniform mason jars at the store. I was going to drink, eat, and use all the things that came in different heights and thicknesses of mason jars, so that I could have them as decor for my party! And I had 2 years to do this!! (of course my family helped, and we thrifted some too)

When you’re excited about something, you tell people right!? I shared with a few close friends about my party plans, because I was thrilled to be having the wedding event that I(we) originally wanted. “Lots of white linen…burlap…mason jars…”

A friend of mine was throwing a party for her best friend and her husband. Their 10-year anniversary in December, so a month before ours. In a conversation with some friends, someone asked her what she had planned. “A LOT OF WHITE LINEN…BURLAP DECORATIONS…AND MASON JARS…YOU KNOW, SHABBY CHIC.” I was floored. There was no question that she had clearly copied my entire design for our anniversary party that I had been planning for the last year. I told her verbatim what my plan was and she was even following me on Pinterest.

No more dinner party for us. No more beach views. No more Lighthouse Hotel. No white linen. No burlap. NO MASON JARS. I was done. I surely wasn’t going to have a party the month after with the same items from hers. We aborted mission and had to start from scratch. Thankfully, because I was the experienced Event Planner at the time that I was, I was able to come up with an entirely new direction and we had the celebration of the decade!! We hosted an Anniversary Showcase instead. Untraditional, because that’s who we are. Rented a small theater, hired 2 American Idol finalists to perform (I was a big American Idol fan back then), and hosted an amazing show + night for 200 of our friends and family. We even had a step and repeat backdrop so our guests could take photos with the performers!

And the mason jars, you ask? What happened to them? Well, while we were transitioning out of ‘dinner party’ mindset… My husband goes, you should just show up at her front door with all these mason jars and say (with disgust at their existence and embarrassment that they’re old news): “Here, I don’t even need these anymore.”

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I had to tell that story because it seemed the only + perfect way to explain why I am retiring.

Yes, that’s what I said. I am retiring. At the close of this Leg of the Tour, I will no longer be visiting Tea Rooms and Tea Houses all over the greater San Francisco Bay Area and reviewing + writing about them. I have been at this for over 10 years and I have wanted this since last year. My health isn’t getting any better. (For those that need to catch up, start with this post: ‘I was given 3 years’) As a matter of fact, I only went through with this 4th Leg because my husband said it could be my last…

I will still go to afternoon tea, of course I will. It just won’t be a “job” anymore. I will get to go to all my favorite places with all my favorite people whenever I want, and not have to take notes or take photos of everything (or worse, video ew). Don’t get me wrong. It has been an absolute pleasure getting paid to write and do what I love. And I have met and made real relationships with so many along the way, professional and personal. I just wasn’t a fan of the business and socials part of it all. I am NOT an Influencer or Content Creator. I have ALWAYS first and foremost been a Writer. When I started this website over 10 years ago, I didn’t have to make reels or TikToks to get traffic to my site. And while many of you were still visiting this page even while we were on hiatus for a bit, numbers don’t lie. It is BECAUSE of our social media activity that our views get booming…after that Threads post, or after that funny voiceover I posted on TikTok. And it is through Instagram that I have been able to chat with many of you, and send you to all these places, and hear about how much your party enjoyed them. So I get how social media helps, I really do. However- it’s not where I want to be.

I have also closed my small private gourmet tea boutique. I have cut out a lot of unnecessary activities and distractions around me. I’ve wanted this for a long time! I guess this 4th Leg was my last hurrah. People (the few that I’ve told) have asked what I am going to be doing now that I am moving away from Tea. And- nothing! For however long I have left on this earth, I just want to live it in peace, quiet, and ease.

I read a thread recently. April Kae (I don’t know who she is but I always give credit where due @aprilkae) said: “The worst creative trap is creating only for applause. Don’t. Create for the part of you that needs to be heard.” And it struck a chord with me. I replied: “I feel this. I’ve created for so long… I have told my story, I have felt heard, and now I just want quiet.” Being done with creative ventures means I no longer have to soothe my trauma. To be perfectly honest- I needed all these [good] distractions all my life to keep from crumbling. Now, I’m okay with the quiet. I’ve healed enough to be okay with quiet.

How does this all connect to mason jars?

When I found out someone had stole my idea and tried to sell it to everyone as her own (btw, not the first time that was done to me…read more here)- I was DONE. Get those mason jars out my face, I don’t wanna see another mason jar for as long as I live, don’t ever associate me with mason jars ever again. I just wanted to wash myself from ever having collected them in the first place. They were beneath me. And NO! No one is trying to steal my website. And NO! I don’t think afternoon tea is beneath me. Not at all, never that. With what I see on social media, with Afternoon Tea just being overly saturated (errybody and they gramma wanna serve afternoon tea now) and taking away from the real + purist tea rooms… I just feel done. The aversion I feel isn’t isolated toward tea, the tea community, or even social media per se. To be CLEAR- it is for needing it and using it to put a veil over the repercussions of traumas that I no longer allow to hurt me.

One of my favorite lyrics from a song I appreciate says:

I wanna say I lived each day, until I died

I know that I had something in somebody’s life

The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave

That I made a difference and this world will see

I was here

I lived, I loved, I was here

I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted

And it was more than I thought it would be

I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here

I have made my presence in the Tea and Foodie Community. I have the respect and recognition from reputable people there. I have nothing to prove. “Queen of Tea in the Bay Area” was a name given to me. ORIGINAL CREATOR of “parTEA with me” is who I will always be. No one can change that. (no matter how much they might want to ha)

I am deactivating all my social media accounts. But this website will stay open (with the exception of archiving some more personal posts). If you haven’t already, please please PLEASE enter your email and subscribe to our email list. That will be the only way you can keep up with what we got going on in the future. There are still places I want to try! If I write about them or not…you’ll have to stay tuned. So much love to all of you who have been loyal to parTEA with me from the very beginning. (three prayer hand/gratitude emojis) Every single one of you who have donated have a special place in my heart. There are specific instructions my husband has as well, to update you all on my health… See you again. All Love, Olyve Rose