Our 35th Spot:

Proper Hotel/Villon Restaurant

1100 Market Street San Francisco, CA 94102

www.properhotel.com

I don’t have a picture of the building or sign of the hotel/restaurant, cuz (1) I don’t bring my camera out when I probably shouldn’t and (2) it was a whole voyage to get there! Haha.

Learning from our Maison visit, I remembered to check the surrounding area of the Tea Spot beforehand. It suggests you park at this parking garage 4 blocks away. Yeah, we’re not doing that. Thankfully, we found one 2 blocks away (go to the one on Golden Gate yall) tho we did still have to walk through the pee-pee infested air and a handful of homeless sleeping on sidewalk and druggies getting their high right in front of us. (Again, my apologies Ladies!!) I had the most adorable group with me this time. A pair of Besties and my husband’s honorary Big Sister (which makes her my “Big SIL”), so much fun with them let me tell you!

We finally get seated at this cute little setup, catch our breaths (no more urine pollution), and take in our surroundings. Ugh, mad eclectic in there! So much random art and diverse interior design. There wasn’t really a rhyme to its reason, and I appreciated it cuz it all still worked somehow!? Just look…

It was the Besties’ first Afternoon Tea, so we celebrated that! We all talked about what teas to choose for our service. Only 9 teas to choose from, and in my experience, not usual ones you see on a tea menu. Sometimes that’s exciting…so you get to try new stuff right. But other times, especially when the blends are more out there, you kinda feel like slim pickin’s. This time, I felt like I wish I had more choices… The table ordered their Copper Leaf Black (honey-malt-longan fruit), Emperor’s Flower Oolong (noyaux-jasmine-pine nut), and Chai Assam Black (rich-spicy-sweet). I was a Bad Tea Reviewer cuz I only had mine. (cheesy emoji) ALTHOUGH, I was listening to the comments of my girls and they did like theirs! I heard the chai was a hit. Mine, (the Copper Leaf) eh. It smelled more promising than it was. Comforting, earthy, brown ricey scent. But it fell flat for me, nothing to it. Could you believe I only had the one pour?! The rest of the time, I was drinking my water.

I did like that they give you the option to change out for another blend, tho. I like when Tea Spots allow you to do that.

Not soon after, here came someone with a PLATE of food. “Huh? Oh! Do we get Welcome Appetizers?! My favorite!” is what I was thinking. Let me back up and mention that we walked into the tea area, seeing this gorgeous group of girls in their fascinators and like THREE TOWERS on their table!! Where were our towers?? (sad cringey emoji) Then he set down this plate, and oh. It was our sandwiches. Raise your hand if you know how I feel about tea party food all on one plate? For those that don’t, click here. And here. Remember in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (I always have to put the dots!) when Joey screams, “Joey doesn’t share food!!”? Here’s me: “I don’t like all my tea party food on just one plate!!”

So here’s your boring picture of all the tea sandwiches on one plate.

Again, they don’t have the items listed on the menu. Again, I couldn’t remember everything they said when they told us all of it. (hahah) And again, I’m not gonna have the official names listed on here. To be fair, we did ask him maybe 2-3 times what the sandwiches were… He was just so sweet + so soft spoken, we could barely hear! So I’m gonna do my best yall. But at least you’ll have picture reference. (Oh yeah, and where I was sitting the lighting wasn’t great…so these shots aren’t well, great. I did my best. Yall know I’m not a photographer!)

Cucumber Mascarpone – The lighter cheese is so different! You expect a creamier, more viscous situation right. The mascarpone wasn’t it for me. And their ratio was off. Too much cream. Doesn’t make for a cute sandwich either. [Check out the size comparison to the utensils beside my saucer. These sandwiches were the size of cutting a standard slice of bread in 4…like for four square!]

Goat Cheese, Arugula + Jam – Before I got to mine, I was already hearing that this was a table favorite. And my girls weren’t wrong! It only took one bite for me to know that I should set this one on the side, so I can save the best for last! (You were singing the song in your head huh? Yeah you were! I heard it!) This combo was bomb-dot-com. I don’t know if people are saying that still…but I’m sure you guys get tired of reading “SLAMMIN” from me. Gotta change it up on yall once in a while!

Spicy Egg Salad – They said this one was spicy, but none of us thought it was. Least favorite of the one-half of Besties that was sitting next to me. It was turmericy or curryish. I didn’t mind it tho! But the bread. I don’t know if these were toasted or left out for a while…but- not only was the bread nutty (so you had to fight to chew those), but it was also scratchy! For me, anyway. The other half of Besties that was sitting in front of me, says hers were all soft. So I’m glad she got good ones.

Smoked Salmon Crepe – I can remember the texture of this one just looking at it again, and it’s not a good feeling. (dry-heave) Our best guess was that these are crepe layers in between the salmon. And possibly a very thin layer of spreadable cheese. Light sprinkles of some sort of herb on the side, that didn’t make any kind of difference to the flavor. But this thing was SO SOGGY you guys!! Think: cold crepe and the thinnest salmon slices that were dipped in water! Yuckth. I don’t know how they managed to dilute the flavor of “smoked” salmon, but they did it alright. At one point I said, “Ugh, I don’t think I could finish this…” And my girl cut in and urged “Don’t do it!!” Hahah! She was looking out for me, thank you boo!

Yayyy we got towers!! That’s more like it. (humble emoji) I learned my lesson and started writing down as he was talking about what each of these were! I got most of it…hahaha.

Macaron – No, I didn’t get what flavor this one was. I’ve failed you already with the desserts! Something chocolatey with a hint of peanut butter maybe. Whatever it was, there was a surprising punch of flavor in the middle! So unexpected, but so welcomed!

Chocolate Cake – Soo soft cake. Nice bitter aftertaste. We think those were espresso beans on the top, crunchy + coffee-esque!

Rainbow Cake – This one had a nice almond extract flavor, but didn’t taste artificial (which I expected with all that food coloring). Really moist sponge, too.

Strawberry Basil Cake – Ooh, this dessert completely caught me off guard. I sliced it with their butter knife and put that slice in my mouth while someone was mid-sentence and- WOW. Delicious combination of strawberry jelly topping, strawberry mousse, and basil cake. I loved this!

Olive Oil Mascarpone Cake – I saved this bite for last, cuz I love olive oil stuff!! Not just cuz of my name…but I genuinely do! Salt & Straw makes this amazing olive oil ice cream!! The creamiest most flavorful thing ever. (my whole mouth just filled up with saliva typing about it) Boy was I sorry. It was dry. Not really a flavor to it. Bleh.

Plain Scone – I was asked recently if I like a plain scone or scones with stuff in it… I don’t mind a currant or berry once in a while. But I think my preference would be plain, so I can taste all of the presented fixings brought out with the service. I was hearing from the girls how sweet this scone was. And Ladies + Gentlemen: this was the first time I did not use anything for my scone!! A good sturdy scone (more like a biscuit) that was sweet enough, but not too sweet.

The service was good. We got these two really sweet + reserved servers. Even the host that sat us was quite mild. We were offered hot water often and checked on a reasonable amount. At the end when my girlfriend asked if she could bring home her fixings, they brought out huge containers of each in a bag for her.

One of my girls commented that she felt people were noticing us having a good time, cuz…well…we LAUGHED the entire time!! These girls are a hoot! We shared hearty laughter (the bent over, faces turning red kind) til our stomachs hurt. Cannot wait to Tea it up with them again.

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