Our 37th Spot:

Jade Chocolates

607 Grant Avenue San Francisco, CA 94108

www.jadechocolates.com

“I didn’t even know there are that many places to have Afternoon Tea in the Bay Area!?”

“How do you find all these Spots??”

“Don’t worry about it.”

When I heard there was Afternoon Tea being served in a chocolate shop, you better believe I was intrigued!! Now let me back up and explain (especially for our new followers): Our official Spots are numbered, but our raTEAngs include all official Spots AND unofficial Tea Room visits. So if you’re noticing that our numbers are kinda off, this is why. But to complicate things even more for you (tada!), this Spot we were supposed to visit in October. HOWEVER, while looking up how to make reservations, I accidentally saw something that caught my eye and I couldn’t unsee…and didn’t want to unsee haha!

The word was: Hawaiian.

Really really quick Story Time: My maternal grandmother is Hawaiian. But when I was growing up, I was never allowed to claim my Hawaiian roots as my abusive bio mom never wanted me to have any extra attention. I am in fact Hawaiian, my DNA says so. When I entered trauma recovery at the end of 2018, while doing my inner child work, I finally got to embrace my heritage and immerse myself + my family in it. It was poi + lomi salmon all day err day. I decorated my bedroom walls with pieces from local Hawaiian artists like: Colleen Wilcox, Mayan Llanera, Kat Reeder, Aloha de Mele, and Punky Aloha. And a whole lot more stuff that I’m not gonna get into here.

Needless to say, when I saw that word related to Afternoon Tea, it was all over! I was going. Then I read further, and found out it was only being offered til September 4th!? AAHHHH!! But I have to gooo! My schedule was packed as it is…I already had a Tea Spot scheduled for August AND a leisure Tea with my brothers the weekend before the 4th. (WHINE) I made it happen and I was going to go before they stopped offering the Hawaiian Tea. YAYYY!!!

So back to those questions in the beginning of this post… I’ve heard them both plenty of times. And no, I’m not going to share my secrets! (sticking out tongue emoji) All you need to know is I AM A DETECTIVE. (wink wink) And if you haven’t subscribed yet, keep following cuz you are in for mooorrrrreeee!!

It was cute + quaint. (I don’t know, “quaint” is the first word that came to mind so I’m going with it). There was one gentleman in there and he took us to our table. Fuuun, we got the window seat and were able to check out the City’s sights + people-watch. (apparently, I’m gonna whine this entire blog post) Because it was an impromptu squeeze-in Tour visit, after asking a few chocolate-lovers I knew but couldn’t make it, my husband made mention that he was interested. “I should just go with you to all the rest of them,” he says! Haha. Seems this one had such a good time at Maison, he wanted to accompany me for the rest of the Tour! What a cutie guy. So this would be our 3rd time at Tea, just the two of us! He is my biggest cheerleader.

Funny- I was trying so hard to get pics of our table without people in the background, but ended up using this one anyway! It’s just so real!!

Shortly after we were seated, our server brought out their Coconut Paradise Green Tea. If you remember, I don’t read anything (if I can help it) about Tea Spots before I go. I don’t follow them on socials, I don’t peruse their website. So this was a nice + welcome surprise: that we didn’t have to pick a tea today. One (for now) was selected for us. Oh man it smelled so creamy!! Yall know, I love me a creamy tea. Creamy coconut guys, creamy coconut. Can you just imagine!? I took my first sip, and it was good! Oh. It had sweetener in it. Not my favorite. As a tea maker/creator/gourmet tea boutique drinker, I prefer the highest quality of teas and never doctor up my cuppa’s. But that’s my preference… Still, we enjoyed our tea and the perfect music that was playing and so on-theme!!

The tier came with the owner. I only knew her name, thanks to one of my Foodie friends on IG who had recently visited (Hi Tim!). She said our server would be right back. And after the tier was set down, he started. He had a full-on history lesson on the Hawaiian Paniolo (Cowboy) themed tea!! SO COOL. He really got into it and knew his stuff. Excellent entertainment for tourists that visit Chinatown (which is where this place is located).

After his story, he explained what each item was on the tier. Thankfully we didn’t have to memorize everything this time, as there was a menu with it all listed left on the table. I’m admitting it- I was totally judging everything I was looking at. “I don’t like this.” “I don’t like that.” “I’m not gonna eat this.” I’m not a fan of salads on tea services. I was looking at these sandwiches, and there was nothing cutesy about it. (sigh) I brought down the plate of salad and started taking my pictures…

Parker Ranch Salad (mango, papaya, kale, & edamame in a spicy sesame vinaigrette, cassava chip topper) – (sigh) At least I like papaya… I took my first bite. (chewing on the hard kale) I don’t even like kale that much… Then, I found myself taking more + more bites. Oh man. This is really good! (I was being such a brat huh?!) The dressing wasn’t too spicy, it just brought a nice mild kick. The fruits were the juiciest fruits! I loved the texture from the soy beans. And that cassava chip, just went perfect with everything. The only negative was the size of the plate. I had to actively hold each leaf from falling off every time I forked it. But no biggie.

Vaqueros Vegetarian Chile Verde Chili – I can’t say I’ve ever had chili on a tea service. But since I was so wrong about the salad, I was getting excited now! I’m not even supposed to have beans…but, I tried it anyway. (see the things I do for you guys!) Ugh, again, so so good! We love quinoa in the house, so that was a familiar bite. It was so fun and such a nice surprise addition!

Grilled Cheese with Caramelized Sweet Onions – I was on a roll now, bring it on sister! Again, not supposed to have yellow cheese nor onions. (hahah!) That sandwich was GRILLED TO PERFECTION. Excellent combo. Simple but done right. (oh man, I wish I had one right now)

King’s Hawaiian Bread with BBQ Beef Brisket – Okay so, I grew up with King’s. My gramma would get the round loaf that came in like a pie tin, and we would just grab handfuls when we wanted some! (haha, funny thinking about that now) I don’t know what their chef does with these, but I only now noticed that it said “King’s” on their menu while reading for this part of the post. That joint tasted homemade boyyy! Oh and the meat. They used fattie hearty pieces of meat. Had to get a good bite in there, but still was so good.

Paniolo Pineapple Cornbread, Honey Butter – The last thing to try on this tier was their cornbread. Super moist, not too dense, perfect consistency.

And after having all this gorgeous food, I understood why the coconut green was sweetened. It matched good with the savory profiles. Which by the way, the Huz finished the pot!

Paniolo Palate Cleanser (passion fruit, orange, guava shooter) – I wanna say this is only the 2nd tea service we’ve had with a palate cleanser. The one I can remember was from Linde Lane in Dixon. Maybe the hotels might’ve had one… Anyhow, this was so good! Of course, I could be partial cuz this is my absolute favorite flavor of juice. When I was a kid, I would collect the plastic half cups of them (you know, with the foil pull-back lid) from the plane rides! My favorite Hawaiian Sun? Pass-O-Guava, what else?! This was like a slushie version of that, plus just a little more tartness. Oh, personal annoyance (to whoever’s listening): please oh please don’t call it POG!!

Before the next tier (we get 2 tiers!? Yayyy), they brought out their 2nd pairing of tea: a Lychee Guava White. Um, YUM. I was already excited just hearing the name! I love me a lychee tea!! It was very fragrant, didn’t seem like this one was sweetened, and full of flavor. I was a big fan.

With the delivery of the Sweets Tier (I gasped btw, so pretty), came the conclusion of the history experience. He did such a good job! (clapping emoji)

Liliko’i Marshmallow S’more – I didn’t read the menu before I put this in my mouth. Looks like a s’more, must be a s’more right? Just so we’re all clear: I am a LILIKOI FREAK. I love Lilikoi anything! All-time favorite dessert: La Costanera‘s lilikoi panna cotta. Favorite sweet: Cookie Corner’s lilikoi fruit bar. Favorite art piece by Punky Aloha (that I have an 18×24 of in my living room): Lilikoi. I think you guys get it. So when I tasted it and then subsequently confirmed it on the menu- I clapped my hands and did a happy dance! You guys (the I can’t even emoji), it was so good I wanna cryyyyy!! And the first time chocolate was in the tea service!? Amazing, perfectly roasted marshmallow, excellent chocolate, crunchy not soggy cracker.

Caramelized Tropical Fruit Skewer (pineapple, strawberry, sweet potato) – This was so much fun!! I loved crunching the bruleed sugar! That sweet potato was a nice addition.

Macadamia Brown Butter Blondie – This was nice + light. Strawberries on the side were refreshing.

Okay yall- I was pleasantly surprised at this Tea. It wasn’t even all chocolate-infused! My sincere apologies to the owner + chef that I ever doubted what was being served. Yall know what you’re doing over there. From the music to the tea pairings to the…banana leaf that the skewer was served on!! From my understanding, themes change often. So I am looking forward to coming back fo sho! Readers/Followers, please go and visit them!! You will not be sorry, I promise. A Hawaiian-themed tea service, are you kidding me!!?! I am sooo HAPPY I finagled fitting it on the Tour!! If anyone is out there doing an Italian-themed Tea, hit me up! (haha, my paternal grandfather was Italian)

I ate my leftovers at home and was so sad I had no lilikoi marshmallow to wash it all down, wahh…

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Our 35th Spot:

Proper Hotel/Villon Restaurant

1100 Market Street San Francisco, CA 94102

www.properhotel.com

I don’t have a picture of the building or sign of the hotel/restaurant, cuz (1) I don’t bring my camera out when I probably shouldn’t and (2) it was a whole voyage to get there! Haha.

Learning from our Maison visit, I remembered to check the surrounding area of the Tea Spot beforehand. It suggests you park at this parking garage 4 blocks away. Yeah, we’re not doing that. Thankfully, we found one 2 blocks away (go to the one on Golden Gate yall) tho we did still have to walk through the pee-pee infested air and a handful of homeless sleeping on sidewalk and druggies getting their high right in front of us. (Again, my apologies Ladies!!) I had the most adorable group with me this time. A pair of Besties and my husband’s honorary Big Sister (which makes her my “Big SIL”), so much fun with them let me tell you!

We finally get seated at this cute little setup, catch our breaths (no more urine pollution), and take in our surroundings. Ugh, mad eclectic in there! So much random art and diverse interior design. There wasn’t really a rhyme to its reason, and I appreciated it cuz it all still worked somehow!? Just look…

It was the Besties’ first Afternoon Tea, so we celebrated that! We all talked about what teas to choose for our service. Only 9 teas to choose from, and in my experience, not usual ones you see on a tea menu. Sometimes that’s exciting…so you get to try new stuff right. But other times, especially when the blends are more out there, you kinda feel like slim pickin’s. This time, I felt like I wish I had more choices… The table ordered their Copper Leaf Black (honey-malt-longan fruit), Emperor’s Flower Oolong (noyaux-jasmine-pine nut), and Chai Assam Black (rich-spicy-sweet). I was a Bad Tea Reviewer cuz I only had mine. (cheesy emoji) ALTHOUGH, I was listening to the comments of my girls and they did like theirs! I heard the chai was a hit. Mine, (the Copper Leaf) eh. It smelled more promising than it was. Comforting, earthy, brown ricey scent. But it fell flat for me, nothing to it. Could you believe I only had the one pour?! The rest of the time, I was drinking my water.

I did like that they give you the option to change out for another blend, tho. I like when Tea Spots allow you to do that.

Not soon after, here came someone with a PLATE of food. “Huh? Oh! Do we get Welcome Appetizers?! My favorite!” is what I was thinking. Let me back up and mention that we walked into the tea area, seeing this gorgeous group of girls in their fascinators and like THREE TOWERS on their table!! Where were our towers?? (sad cringey emoji) Then he set down this plate, and oh. It was our sandwiches. Raise your hand if you know how I feel about tea party food all on one plate? For those that don’t, click here. And here. Remember in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (I always have to put the dots!) when Joey screams, “Joey doesn’t share food!!”? Here’s me: “I don’t like all my tea party food on just one plate!!”

So here’s your boring picture of all the tea sandwiches on one plate.

Again, they don’t have the items listed on the menu. Again, I couldn’t remember everything they said when they told us all of it. (hahah) And again, I’m not gonna have the official names listed on here. To be fair, we did ask him maybe 2-3 times what the sandwiches were… He was just so sweet + so soft spoken, we could barely hear! So I’m gonna do my best yall. But at least you’ll have picture reference. (Oh yeah, and where I was sitting the lighting wasn’t great…so these shots aren’t well, great. I did my best. Yall know I’m not a photographer!)

Cucumber Mascarpone – The lighter cheese is so different! You expect a creamier, more viscous situation right. The mascarpone wasn’t it for me. And their ratio was off. Too much cream. Doesn’t make for a cute sandwich either. [Check out the size comparison to the utensils beside my saucer. These sandwiches were the size of cutting a standard slice of bread in 4…like for four square!]

Goat Cheese, Arugula + Jam – Before I got to mine, I was already hearing that this was a table favorite. And my girls weren’t wrong! It only took one bite for me to know that I should set this one on the side, so I can save the best for last! (You were singing the song in your head huh? Yeah you were! I heard it!) This combo was bomb-dot-com. I don’t know if people are saying that still…but I’m sure you guys get tired of reading “SLAMMIN” from me. Gotta change it up on yall once in a while!

Spicy Egg Salad – They said this one was spicy, but none of us thought it was. Least favorite of the one-half of Besties that was sitting next to me. It was turmericy or curryish. I didn’t mind it tho! But the bread. I don’t know if these were toasted or left out for a while…but- not only was the bread nutty (so you had to fight to chew those), but it was also scratchy! For me, anyway. The other half of Besties that was sitting in front of me, says hers were all soft. So I’m glad she got good ones.

Smoked Salmon Crepe – I can remember the texture of this one just looking at it again, and it’s not a good feeling. (dry-heave) Our best guess was that these are crepe layers in between the salmon. And possibly a very thin layer of spreadable cheese. Light sprinkles of some sort of herb on the side, that didn’t make any kind of difference to the flavor. But this thing was SO SOGGY you guys!! Think: cold crepe and the thinnest salmon slices that were dipped in water! Yuckth. I don’t know how they managed to dilute the flavor of “smoked” salmon, but they did it alright. At one point I said, “Ugh, I don’t think I could finish this…” And my girl cut in and urged “Don’t do it!!” Hahah! She was looking out for me, thank you boo!

Yayyy we got towers!! That’s more like it. (humble emoji) I learned my lesson and started writing down as he was talking about what each of these were! I got most of it…hahaha.

Macaron – No, I didn’t get what flavor this one was. I’ve failed you already with the desserts! Something chocolatey with a hint of peanut butter maybe. Whatever it was, there was a surprising punch of flavor in the middle! So unexpected, but so welcomed!

Chocolate Cake – Soo soft cake. Nice bitter aftertaste. We think those were espresso beans on the top, crunchy + coffee-esque!

Rainbow Cake – This one had a nice almond extract flavor, but didn’t taste artificial (which I expected with all that food coloring). Really moist sponge, too.

Strawberry Basil Cake – Ooh, this dessert completely caught me off guard. I sliced it with their butter knife and put that slice in my mouth while someone was mid-sentence and- WOW. Delicious combination of strawberry jelly topping, strawberry mousse, and basil cake. I loved this!

Olive Oil Mascarpone Cake – I saved this bite for last, cuz I love olive oil stuff!! Not just cuz of my name…but I genuinely do! Salt & Straw makes this amazing olive oil ice cream!! The creamiest most flavorful thing ever. (my whole mouth just filled up with saliva typing about it) Boy was I sorry. It was dry. Not really a flavor to it. Bleh.

Plain Scone – I was asked recently if I like a plain scone or scones with stuff in it… I don’t mind a currant or berry once in a while. But I think my preference would be plain, so I can taste all of the presented fixings brought out with the service. I was hearing from the girls how sweet this scone was. And Ladies + Gentlemen: this was the first time I did not use anything for my scone!! A good sturdy scone (more like a biscuit) that was sweet enough, but not too sweet.

The service was good. We got these two really sweet + reserved servers. Even the host that sat us was quite mild. We were offered hot water often and checked on a reasonable amount. At the end when my girlfriend asked if she could bring home her fixings, they brought out huge containers of each in a bag for her.

One of my girls commented that she felt people were noticing us having a good time, cuz…well…we LAUGHED the entire time!! These girls are a hoot! We shared hearty laughter (the bent over, faces turning red kind) til our stomachs hurt. Cannot wait to Tea it up with them again.

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